sincerely, r

fifteen

Dear BTS,

Hi everyone, it's R. I'm sorry if you don't want to read this...you really don't have to. You probably have much better things to do than to read my letter.

......

But uhm, if you're still reading, I didn't like today very well.

I did work this morning as usual and it was boring as usual. And then I made breakfast after I showered because during work I get shit on the whole time.

But Ozzy as waiting for me to come home and I felt really loved by him. I'm so glad I got him. I gave him a big hug and he kept licking me. The smell of the farm is still unfamiliar to him I guess.

But we went on a nice long walk. I found out that he really likes frisbees and retrieving them. He's very fast.

But then I went to work again later on the day after I did some busy work at home. Cows were really grumpy today and I got kicked a lot.

I got told by my friend that we aren't going to go out after work anymore. She always drives me there and back to work because we're buddies. Usually, after work, we'll pick up food and sit in the car, listening to music as we ate. But she said she doesn't want to anymore...

She didn't talk much today.

That's when I first started to feel unwanted.

I had to walk home by myself. That already isn't a good thing of course. These old men stared at me as I walked past and cat-called me. I felt disgusting.

Ozzy was asleep when I got home, so I showered and saw my friends we're all on a Zoom call.

After I showered and stuff, I joined as well. They all said hi and everything quickly fell silent. Later, I brought up that the book I'm writing about our friend group (it's a long story) almost reached 2,000 reads. And that's crazy because it was kind of a joke book, but it's not at the same time.

But I said it several times and no one reacted. So then I texted it and one person was happy about it. I felt awkward.

Then like, it's a funny story, but a few said they wanted some angsty chapters.

So with the previous reaction of me saying something, I decided to raise my hand and my kind of stuttered and I know they heard me, but they changed the topic of the story and I was ignored.

And I just felt so unwanted and annoying and a giant bother.

I left without a word.

Ozzy woke up as I was making dinner. Just some mac and cheese, something that didn't involve a knife....

But, I've never felt so unwanted before.

It was new to me.

I, we'll, I hope you all slept well? If that isn't creepy of me to hope?

I don't know I'm sorry.

Sincerely, R