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Becoming a hellhound had proven to become a larger, more burdensome weight on her chest as the time went on.
It would happen randomly, her eyes twitching slightly in response to the fire swirling inside and suddenly she stopped everything she was doing- becoming almost robotic in a sense while carrying out her heart wrenching duty.
What was a bigger burden was the feeling.
The feeling that attacked her without warning, her happiness suddenly spiking into the warp of a depressive episode- the unfathomable guilt she felt consumed her every breath.
Aria felt guilt on behalf of those dead, unsure as to why she did but it still gripped detrimentally tight on her lungs and heart.
Pulling, squeezing, churning, stabbing at them in response to her obsessive thoughts. It had become inimical to her mental well-being, feeling frazzled and unwired within herself.
Although she had a strong front, anyone could see right through her forcefully smile and façade she masked on as a result of sleepless nights and tears that wouldn't stop soaking her pillow at night.
Over the weeks of becoming a hellhound, she saw it all- every death you could possibly have witnessed- Aria saw.
And on top of that- Aria was labelled the boyfriend stealer. Well according to Na-eun.
"Hey Aria." The sudden sound of her name made her flinch, pulling her out of her innermost thoughts with a jolt.
"Huh, oh- hey Jaem." The Angel narrowed his eyes at her on edge, unusual self and pulled her to the side with eyes swimming with concern.
A few people glanced with peaked interest at the two conversing, word spreading fast about her crush.
Aria knew this and had been avoiding the said boy as best she could, not wanting to face him in fear he'd hate her.
Avoiding eye contact, she felt her nerves pricking up like wildfire and Jaemin on the other hand, only held concern for her.
His warm, comforting hand placed on her shoulder, making her jump- she swallowed her anxiety down as best as she could.
"Are you okay?" His pristine, smooth and perfectly executed voice sailed into her ears calmly and with worry filtering through it.
Aria looked up at him and for the first time, she no longer felt the overwhelming feeling of desire coursing through her veins.
Instead, she felt embarrassed.
After her nodding at his question, he bit down at his lip- gently grabbing her arm to lead her to the roof of the school.
━
The wind blew tenderly through the slight tension between the two as their legs dangled off of the high rooftop.
"So," he began, unsure of how to start.
The pause after his word lasted longer than expected, unintentionally raising the tension higher until she couldn't stand it.
"I did like you." Aria's voice came out much more confident than to what she felt. She felt vulnerable as he glanced at the side profiled view of her face.
"But I never talked bad about her to you or anything like that. I didn't want to come between you too..."
"You didn't, you weren't the reason why we ended." Jaemin said, hesitating on speaking on her confession. "I didn't know you like me..."
"Liked." She breathed out, gaining his confused attention. "What?" Aria turned her head, hair blowing through the bustling air as their eyes connected. "I liked you...but I realised it wasn't truly 'love'...I think the idea of you and I together seemed right but maybe now looking back at it; it was more infatuation."
He didn't speak for a few seconds after she stopped, making her feel regretful towards her words.
Jaemin exhaled humourously through his nose, a smile pulling on his lips. "I understand." "You do?" She narrowed her eyes unconvincingly.
"I guess I was forcing myself to believe Na-eun and I were fated together. I was having doubts and I felt guilty for it but as you step back from it..."
"Your feelings become clearer." She concluded.
Jaemin nodded, shaking off the thoughts of his break up as he redirected his attention back to Aria.
"I'm okay knowing you did like me...I was worrying on how to tell you I didn't feel the same" He confessed. Instead of the bitter, hurt feeling she thought she'd feel- instead she let out a laugh, feeling lighter than before.
They were both mature enough to understand each other and in the end, it all worked out perfectly fine by
"Did it help you to know what you want now?" He asked curiously.
"Hm," she began thoughtfully. "I'm still working on that one."
"Oh you are?" He raised a brow. "What are you working on exactly?"
She had a smile on her lips when her mind swam back to him on its own accord. "Getting over my fears." "Your fears?"
"It's scary falling in love, especially when it's unexpected."
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