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THAT GIRL WHO ALWAYS CAPTURES ME

While looking at her now, like what she used to be when we we're in college. She always have her camera hanging on her neck, and holding a pen and her journal.

She didn't change, she still love capturing but the sad part was, I'm not her subject anymore.

When we are still in college, I know that she always capture me secretly, and I just let her do that. But I didn't expect that I'll fell for her only doing by that.

And now, I recognized her sitting on a bench. I saw her again after years.

But I saw her crying while writing on her journal. I don't have the courage to go to her. Maybe she didn't remember me, we don't have interaction before, except, her capturing me secretly and not knowing that I know about it.

When we we're in college, I already have my courage to introduced myself because I didn't expect that I will like her and even love her, not until I got the news that she will marry a guy that broke me. So we didn't get the chance to introduce ourselves to each other, we didn't talk even a second.

And now, I know that she is happily married. I want to go near her but I can't, and now she's leaving again.

I saw her leaving her pen and journal on a bench where she was sitting, before she leaves.

When she's gone, I grab her journal to give it back to her, but I suddenly saw what's inside of it.

I sat on a bench where she was sitting earlier.

I saw my different stolen pictures with caption in it. I am still a college student in the pictures.

It was the time when she always capture me.

Tears roll down my eyes. She loves me before!

And I can't stop my tears now when I read her last goodbye in the last page of her journal.

Is this what she was writing earlier here?

"I am sorry my love. I am sorry for always forgetting you. They took advantage of what I am facing everyday. They married me to a man I didn't love. I am sorry for not remembering you using my heart, I am sorry if I can only recognize you with the help of your pictures, I am sorry even though you didn't even know me... and here I am in pain because they tell me that I once loved a man before so my parents gave back to me this journal, and I hate myself because when I saw your pictures... my heart pound so fast again.

"Thank you for making me feel this way even if I know that this is wrong because I already have a husband now. My heart will never forget you even if my mind always forget you. You're always have a place in my heart.

"But yeah, this is me writing everything for the last time how much I love you. And this is me, signing off... the girl who always capture you. The girl who always forget you everyday, but still in love with you.

And now I am leaving it all here... because I know tomorrow, I will forget you again."

The last sentence made me in so much pain. Now I realized, that girl who always capture me... is sick, she always forget everything, everyday. And even if we didn't have the chance to know each other, she still love me. That's love. And now, she will not just forget me everyday... she will forget me, forever.

--

HartleyRoses

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