Royal Blood | FMG1234

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BLURB:

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BLURB:

𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙗𝙤𝙙𝙮 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙

"The only crime I have committed is that I am a woman. A woman who wears a crown."

Since Adaline, Queen of Aris was a child, the Kingdom of Eden has been after her crown and her blood. She has been forced to remain in hiding for twelve years, but she is of age, and won't hide for any longer. After an assassination attempt, she escapes to the Kingdom of Feyre's court, where she shall wed the next King of Feyre. An alliance that should save her kingdom, and her crown.

But the danger lies within the castle's walls and

Adaline must battle a cruel world of betrayal, blood shed and power, alone.

Nathaniel McKnight hasn't seen his future Queen in over a decade, believing she had passed. A shell of he once was, he doesn't believe he needs a Queen to run his country, but Adaline will never bow down.

But the cost of love is so much greater in the monarchy.

And neither of them are willing to give up their crown, because

there is nothing older or stronger,

than Royal Blood.

***

YOUR COVER: (7/10) I enjoyed the color scheme included in your cover, and how the photos relate to your story and title. The way the title was presented was hard to see, and the font was smaller than I would have liked. The title should be the first thing that attracts a potential reader's eye. You can keep it as it is, but the cover is a little plain, and it doesn't do a good job at making me want to read your story .

YOUR TITLE: (7/10) I can tell that you put a lot of thought into your title. It's mysterious sounding and vague enough to draw in readers. There are, however, many stories that use this title. If your story is unique enough, I'm sure that you can pull this off. However, I also encourage thinking of different titles that better represent your story. This can be a specific phrase used repetitively throughout your story, a symbolic object, or important person.

YOUR BLURB: (2/5) I loved the way you ended the blurb. It connects with the title and provides a sense of finality. I enjoyed that you formatted your blurb so that you separated your paragraphs to make it easier for potential readers. However, I feel that the blurb is still longer than it needs to be. It's confusing, and you have a lot of unnecessary information. Not to mention that I've spotted several grammatical errors, including unfinished sentences, misused commas, and sometimes repetitive words. The primary points here are: Adeline has been in hiding. After escaping an assassination attempt, she escapes to marry the King of Feyre. That way, she can secure her crown from the Kingdom of Eden. Nathaniel believed his future queen was dead and believed he didn't need a queen. But after 12 years in hiding, Adeline isn't ready to back down. Neither of them are willing to give up their crown. My take on your blurb would be like this:

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