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BLURB:
The Peverell brothers find out that their family have all been cursed by the veil of death itself. Will they be able to find a cure for the ill omens that keep them bound?
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YOUR COVER: (4/10) The image used represents the mood of the story. The black and white color scheme gives me the idea that the story is more of a grave/serious mood. However, the title is pretty small and hard to see against the cover. It feels like it's fading away compared to the image, and there's no hint that this is fanfiction as well. You'll probably draw in more of the appropriate audience by including something in the cover image that contributes to the fanfiction. I also suggest experimenting with the title presentation, font, and color. If you're not experienced with making a cover, you can also check out the fabulous cover shops I have featured in my reading list.
YOUR TITLE: (9/10) It helps the audience understand that the genre is fanfiction and attracts the right readers for your story. It's also to the point and original compared to many other fanfictions that there may be on Wattpad. I took off a point because your title is on the longer side. I typically suggest that a title should at most be five words long, and that already border's on the long side. Your title is seven words long. It isn't a huge deal; however, if you ever decide to rename your story, I suggest considering the length of the title as well.
YOUR BLURB: (3/5) I found no grammatical errors, and your blurb is concise and to the point. The problem is that it's too concise. There's little to no information about the story at all. You could expand upon the blurb to showcase your writing style to potential readers and include more details to flesh out the plot. For example, you could hint at some of the obstacles they may come across while searching for a cure for the curse. You could also include the trigger that starts the story; What happened that caused them to be cursed? A short blurb such as this one probably won't impress a reader or hook them in enough for them to click on your story.
YOUR HOOK: (3/5) Upon first glance, I found little grammatical errors. However, there were still a few. For example, "Centaur" in paragraph 3 should not be capitalized, as it isn't actually his name, and you should include the definite article "the" in front of it. Your writing style is well established, clean, and easy to understand. I found that you were lacking urgency in your hook. It seemed as though they were running away from something, but there were no strong feelings invoked within me. I suggest including details such as body language and facial expressions. Were they out of breath and terrified, or was the adrenaline pumping through their bodies keeping their head clear?
YOUR GRAMMAR: (9/10) You had several comma mistakes. Keep in mind that commas are used to separate different clauses within a sentence, whether they're independent or dependent. An independent clause has a subject (who/what is doing the action) and a predicate (the action being done by the subject). Oftentimes, a sentence has two independent clauses, joined together with a conjunction. In the sentence, "I cried then Billy ran away," there are two independent clauses here. One is, "I cried," and the other is, "Billy ran away." Both have a subject and a predicate, and they're joined together by the conjunction, "then." Because of this, the two clauses still need to be separated with a comma, the correction being: "I cried, then Billy ran away."
