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BLURB:
"The stars are singing again, I can hear them."
Yoongi can hear the song of the stars as they twinkle and sparkle and swell with scorching heat. Yoongi can smell the deadly vapours of Venus without facing instant death and sense the raging storm happening in Jupiter as if he were in the very middle of it. Yoongi can feel the silent pain of the Moon as she dwells in the darkness away from the loving warmth of the Sun. Yoongi can feel and hear and sense everything in the universe.
But what's worse is that he can play with it all easily as if he were playing a complex game of chess against a child.
One day, Yoongi meets a man. Who tells him of another world.
"Can you take me there?"
***
YOUR COVER: (6/10) I enjoyed the color scheme and mood of the cover used, but the photo quality is really hazy and blurry. I don't know if that's purposeful or not, but it does throw me off a bit. The title doesn't stand out as much as it should, and overall, it doesn't draw me in as much as it should. The decision is up to you, but if you're open to it, I suggest going to a cover designer on Wattpad for a new cover.
YOUR TITLE: (9/10) I really resonate with your story title! It's very poetic sounding, and it isn't a common title, especially on the Wattpad platform. I can see how it relates and represents your story as well, so well done here! (Additionally, "of" and "the" shouldn't be capitalized in a title).
YOUR BLURB: (3/5) Like your title, your blurb has a very whimsical and poetic feel. However, there were some awkward phrases and grammatical errors throughout your blurb. What I suggest doing is separating your sentences into several paragraphs, especially with the repetition of each sentence starting with "Yoongi." That way, it's easier for potential readers to absorb the information without feeling like they're being hit with it all at once. For the quote you used at the top, you used a comma splice. A comma splice is a grammatical error where you combine to separate clauses together with a comma without a proper conjunction. If you're combining separate, independent clauses together, you need either a conjunction, or to separate them with a period. The correct way to write it would be: 'The stars are singing again. I can hear them." You also confused plural and singular words. For example, "sense" should be "senses." (and you also have repetition of the word). You have extra, unnecessary spaces through your writing as well.
YOUR HOOK: (4/5) Your hook was very philosophical and poetic! I enjoyed the in-depth, thoughtful rhetorical questions, and you had me intrigued from the first sentence. There was some excessive detail that took away from the focus of the hook, however. It was hard to absorb the information because the flow of the hook kept breaking up from the descriptions you provided every sentence or two.
