Are you an undiscovered writer searching for ways to improve your work and get some recognition? Apply to have your story reviewed here and expect honest feedback, brutal critiques, and to return with a story that can't ever be forgotten.
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BLURB:
Clancy is trying to forget all of the torture that he's gone through during his time spent in the prison known as Dema. But when Jenna comes into his world and requests to go to Dema, he must face his demons and help her rescue her family before it's too late!
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YOUR COVER: (1/10) From looking at your cover, it just looks like a collage of different random photos. There's no title or author's name presented either. I suggest that you request for a new cover at a cover shop on Wattpad.
YOUR TITLE: (6/10) While I can distinctly see a connection here, it's vague enough that the title doesn't fit your story. You didn't put a heavy emphasis or meaning on the title throughout your story. Unless it becomes a principal part of your story, I suggest that you replace and work on finding a better title that better represents your story.
YOUR BLURB: (5/5) I was impressed with your blurb! It has a clear outline of what your story's about, and it's short/concise. I can see that you put a lot of thought into presenting your blurb, and it's brief enough while still conveying the important parts of your story.
YOUR HOOK: (4/5) What I enjoyed about the hook is that it was clean of any spelling/grammatical errors. It was compelling, and it also posed a lot of questions about the story. You started off right into the story, and I got a sense of the character, situation, and surrounding. Well done!
YOUR GRAMMAR: (8/10) I was impressed here! For the most part, your grammar was flawless. There were still a few comma mistakes here and there, and I've pointed some out for you. Keep the basic rule of commas (I've mentioned them to you before) in mind when writing and try to apply my suggestions when editing your story.
YOUR SPELLING ERRORS: (5/5) Solid 5/5! I was impressed; there were no spelling mistakes pulling my focus away from your story. Still, there were a few spots where you could replace your diction and vocabulary, so I suggest proof-reading your work before uploading on Wattpad. That way, your readers won't have to see the rough, rough draft of your story, but rather a polished rough draft.
YOUR PLOT: (15/20) This is definitely a unique idea, and I was enjoying the suspense in your story. However, there were a few parts where your plot was foggy. What I mean by this is that I got a vague idea of the goal, and not a very strong impression of the surroundings and situation here. I hardly got any description on emotions, scenes, or about Dema. I suggest turning your focus on describing Dema and tying your characters' feelings to this place.
YOUR CHARACTERS: (3/10) I also struggled to learn about your characters. While the mysterious aura here is certainly compelling, it's distant enough that I don't feel attached to your characters. Going more into depth about their emotions and surroundings will help ground your readers and let them understand your characters more. Along with that, you described Orchid as being very beautiful, but you didn't describe how so. "Beautiful" is a cliche, generic description. How can you be more creative here? Along with that, I suggest that you focus on other traits besides generic physical descriptions. Your characters likely won't care about hazel eyes and dark hair, but by establishing unique features such as a hooked nose or mole on a cheek, it will help your readers be able to visualize your characters better and make them more relatable.
