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BLURB:
In a world where people cannot even trust themselves to know how they feel, what will the hunt for truth cost Sia who has always opposed the Hidden Thoughts experiment?
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Five hundred years from now, the world has risen better and stronger than ever from the ruins of The Ancient Western Civilisation. The government has promised the people that never again shall the world bow down to the dangerous games of nature. As a solution, The Hidden Thoughts experiment has been launched, an experiment that goes directly against the laws of nature. But is this wonderful-sounding game being played by the government as fun as it seems, or are there secrets that could possibly lead to the destruction of humanity again, and this time for good?
Will Sia, a girl who has made it a hobby to break rules, be able to uncover the truth before it is too late for Humanity?
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YOUR COVER: (8/10) Your cover is very interesting. You included unique aspects that helped it represent the story and genre, and the title is easily the largest font. It's a little grainy and foggy, but please let me know if it's intentional or not! As long as you're comfortable with the cover, it's professional and organized, so I have no complaints.
YOUR TITLE: (9/10) Just by reading the blurb, I can tell the title accurately represents your story. The title itself is generic and almost random, however, and potential readers won't have a clue about the genre it represents, making it harder for them to get into the story. You can definitely keep it as it is since it portrays your story well, but I also suggest keeping your mind open to other title possibilities.
YOUR BLURB: (4/5) I appreciated the depth of your blurb. It was insightful, informative, and concise. Although on the longer side, I feel that it appropriately portrayed and set up background information for your story. I noticed that there were a few minor grammar errors, such as missing commas. However, I'm just being picky here. If you choose to edit your blurb, I suggest seeing the grammar corrections and suggestions I make, and apply it to your blurb.
YOUR HOOK: (5/5) Right off the bat, your writing is clean and free of grammar errors. You've established the tense, mood of the story, setting, and I got a taste of your protagonist's mindset. It's intriguing and makes me want to learn more.
YOUR GRAMMAR: (7/10) You had the occasional slip up with your punctuation/capitalization regarding your dialogue. Your dialogues are typically accompanied with dialogue tags (she said, he yelled, they shouted, describing the way someone says something), and action tags (she grinned/he sighed/they walked away, basically an action). A dialogue tag is a continuation of a dialogue sentence, meaning that the dialogue itself should end in any punctuation but a period, and the beginning of the dialogue tag is never capitalized, seeing as it's not the beginning of a new sentence. The opposite goes for an action tag, which is a separate sentence. That means the dialogue should end in any punctuation but a comma, and the beginning of the action tag is always capitalized.
