Are you an undiscovered writer searching for ways to improve your work and get some recognition? Apply to have your story reviewed here and expect honest feedback, brutal critiques, and to return with a story that can't ever be forgotten.
Cover by...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
BLURB:
Clara Spark is an ordinary high school vampire. But she is a vampire who doesn't suck blood and have powerful capabilities like any other. She finally enrolls into a vampire high school where her best friend, Nathan, studies to find her soulmate shows up making her life complicated.
Being the mere human makes her vulnerable. After her parents constant moving due to their jobs, they settled in London as her scholarship grants her a chance to live her high school life as a true vampire. Also, an opportunity to force vampire traits to resurface.
The whole new experience awes her and even more when she meets her other half, the manipulative and sly Prince. Her intoxicating blood attracts him, and he wants to claim her right away. Torn by the intimate friendship, her soulmate and her stuck condition of being half human half vampire, she soon discovers that her true love is the only way to make her whole as a true vampire. Including being the queen she is destined to be.
***
YOUR COVER: (10/10) I love the quality of the photo used here, and the hint of red incorporated in the cover. The author's name and presented title is well placed as well, so a solid 10/10!
YOUR TITLE: (6/10) While your title does represent what your story is about, it's also generic, cliche, and seems more like a list of words describing your story. There are a lot of vampire stories out there that incorporate queens and prophecies, so your title is vague and shows only the shallow surface of your story. I suggest changing the title and finding a better representation of your story. It can be a symbolic object in your story, or a significant phrase repetitive throughout your writing. It could also be a concept; anything that uniquely represents your story.
YOUR BLURB: (1/5) To be honest, I had a lot of trouble deciphering your blurb. Not only was it long and winding, but also confusing with a lot of unnecessary information. For example, the sentence, "She finally enrolls into a vampire high school where her best friend, Nathan, studies to find her soulmate shows up making her life complicated" is confusing and doesn't make any sense. Do you mean she enrolled into high school with her friend? Or did her friend Nathan discover that her soulmate showed up? I'm going to assume that it's the former, and a better reconstruction of your sentence would be, "She finally enrolls into a vampire high school, only to find her soulmate." It's short, simple, and concise. Potential readers don't need to learn about Nathan just yet. Along with that, you wrote that she was a vampire who couldn't suck blood, but then later on mentioned her as a human. So, is she a vampire with dormant powers, or a human? Try to choose one to not confuse your readers. If you read through your blurb carefully, you'll find that you're missing a lot of filler words that add to the confusion, and plenty of excess information not relevant to the plot. What parts can you remove and does your blurb tie up your actual plot?
