Are you an undiscovered writer searching for ways to improve your work and get some recognition? Apply to have your story reviewed here and expect honest feedback, brutal critiques, and to return with a story that can't ever be forgotten.
Cover by...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
BLURB:
When a compassionate devil comes to earth to stop his brother from spreading a demonic virus, he thinks everything will be easy; infiltrate his brother's organization, kill his agents and to back to hell.
But life is never that easy is it?
soon, he discovers his brother's plans are worse than he imagines.
A plan that will dangerously affect the lives of the ones he loves and humans too.
will he be able to stop his brother, or will he chicken out and run back to hell?
***
YOUR COVER: (7/10) I like the mysterious air that the picture used for the photo gives off. However, the title seems to be not centered, and almost looks like it's cutting off at the top. Along with that, I'm not sure I can understand the random black line running through your cover. You can keep it as it is, but there are some pretty awesome cover makers on Wattpad that can not only design beautiful covers, but can also offer different approaches and ideas to the making of the cover.
YOUR TITLE: (8/10) The title does make sense. At first, I thought this story revolved around Ted. However, now I can see that this is really Ian's story, and that he is the undivulged son. It's an interesting and intriguing title that definitely pulled me in. Good job!
YOUR BLURB: (1/5) I found myself a little confused by your blurb. From what I've read, it seems that Ian's brother was the one who went down to Earth, not Ian. But I'm assuming that Ian is the "compassionate devil." Along with that, from what I've read of your story, it's mainly about an actor pretending to be the genius behind finding a cure to a disease, while the real man undercover works to overthrow his evil brother. If that is so, then that is what your blurb should be about. After all, it seems that Ted and Ian are your main characters, so Ted should be included in the verb. Other than that, I do enjoy how you've kept it short and concise, although there are words that should be capitalized and some grammatical errors.
YOUR HOOK: (3/5) One thing I like about the hook is that you threw me right into the action. I blinked, and suddenly, he was on camera. You did a wonderful job at engaging the reader and slyly threw in some backstory about your main character and the history of his home without making it sound boring (like a history lesson). One thing that threw me off guard though was that you ended your first sentence without a period. Some readers are extremely picky and will turn away as soon as they see this mistake. Along with that, you have unnecessarily separated paragraphs, when some paragraphs could be combined to form one whole paragraph. In addition, if Ted is talking to himself in his head, it may make more sense to make the sentence italicized. This will make it more professional looking to your readers. I also wanted to add as a side note: When writing down that it's Ted's POV, "pov" should be all caps because it is an acronym for "point of view." And you should make "Ted's POV" bold, because I read it as part of the story, which took away part of the anticipation of the hook.
