Are you an undiscovered writer searching for ways to improve your work and get some recognition? Apply to have your story reviewed here and expect honest feedback, brutal critiques, and to return with a story that can't ever be forgotten.
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BLURB:
Adrian Gonzalez knows the painful truth about liking someone you have no chance with---they never like you back and you're left heartbroken. Ever wonder why it's called a 'crush?'
But when the hopeless crush he has is on Parker Thompson---nonbinary school heartthrob with an impeccable fashion sense---he can't help but wish things would turn out differently. He knows that staring at Parker from two seats behind in Biology is fine, and he knows that praying he doesn't get a boner when Parker jogs ahead of him in gym class is less fine---but neither are as satisfying as he wishes they were.
A class group chat is all it takes to intertwine Adrian's and Parker's lives. And one impulsive, stupid, never-wish-I-typed-it reply is the turning point for Adrian's love story.
Especially when Parker ends up in his DMs with that text as his starting point.
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YOUR COVER: (8/10) The cover is clever and accurately represents your story. The only problem I have with it is that it feels cluttered. There is a lot of writing going on, and it took a moment for me to find the title there. If you're using this theme for your cover, I suggest minimizing the amount of words used, and highlighting/focusing more on the title to seem more clean and professional.
YOUR TITLE: (9/10) For the most part, I can understand the connection between the title and your story. It represents the theme of your story and is unique to your story and characters. One thing I'd like to point out is "Sincerely" is typically used in letters, and this is more of a texting story. I'd love to know your reasoning behind this!
YOUR BLURB: (3/5) Your blurb is on the longer side, so it took me a while to pull everything apart and analyze the information provided. If this is your synopsis, I suggest including it inside your story, and only providing a bit in your blurb, as that's what a blurb is supposed to be—a sneak-peek at your story.
YOUR HOOK: (4/5) I loved the beginning of your story! It was packed with personality, and I got a good grasp of your protagonist's mindset! You also presented your writing capabilities, and there were no grammatical errors that could be found at first glance. One thing I noticed is you tend to have long sentences. I suggest shortening them or separating them into different sentences to enhance clear readability for your audience.
YOUR GRAMMAR: (8/10) You had some comma mistakes in your writing. Commas are used to separate different clauses. There are two types of clauses: Independent and dependent. They both have subjects (who/what is doing the action), and a predicate (the action being done). The difference between the two is that an independent clause can stand alone as its own sentence, while a dependent clause depends on another clause to make sense. If over one clause is joined together, they should be separated with a comma. For example, this sentence, "I cried, then Billy ran away," there are two different independent clauses. One is "I cried," and the other is "Billy ran away." You'll notice that they're separated with a conjunction and a comma. You often misuse commas in this sense or forget to add them. Commas can also be used to separate an introductory phrase or word before the main clause. In the sentence, "Today I went to work," the independent clause is "I went to work," and you'll notice that it has a subject "I" and a predicate "went." The word "today" is excluded, and needs to be separated with a comma. The correction is: "Today, I went to work."
