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BLURB:
𝑀𝑦 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑔𝑢𝑛 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠𝑛'𝑡?
𝐵𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑡.
"Justin, I need to do this. I love you but I just can't-"
"You can't love me Angelina. I am going to die and the killer is you."
Suddenly sound of extreme gun shots pass my ears and I keep moving backwards scared and terrified.Tears rolling down my eyes, no Justin, no.
•••×•••
Angelina Bress, merely a teen like most of you. But the secrecy in her eyes; will kill you!
Justin Sarcaster, the most charming and a adorable guy for everyone; but who knows what he actually got in his mind?
Will the two reversals set up some love or just a trap?
What is their exact intention?
Read this book to find out!
***
YOUR COVER: (8/10) The way the font is presented and the colors are creative and unique. Your photo is centered and the author's name is on there. The only thing is that the photo used is a little dark, and it looks like your cover designer didn't add any filters or crop your photo in a unique way. You can leave it as it is, but the quality of your photo (mainly the lighting) throws me off.
YOUR TITLE: (5/10) From the summary you provided in my critique shop, I learned that the two main characters are trying to kill each other. However, the clear plot isn't mentioned in your story or your blurb. I struggled for the title to make sense, and it doesn't have a nice ring to it. I suggest rephrasing it, or coming up with a better title. You can use a quote from your story, create several titles, and find the one that appeals to you the most. The important thing here is that it should tie in with the plot and bring in the right readers.
YOUR BLURB: (1/5) From reading your blurb, I can see an amateur writer. Don't take offense to this; everyone was an amateur once. But you have spelling/grammar mistakes from left to right, your blurb is too long, and you misuse punctuation (specifically orthographic). For example, "gunshot" should be one word, you have unnecessary filler words, and your sentences could be more polished and restructured.
Don't assume things for your readers either. By saying, "Angelina Bress, merely a teen like most of you", you're pushing away people in their twenties, thirties, and more who decided to give your book a try. It's good to have a target audience, but you should never directly assume your readers are all teenagers. Because of this, you likely have fewer readers than you would have if you removed this sentence. You've misused a semicolon, and the way you structured your blurb is eerily similar to pretty much every blurb for a story on Wattpad. Too many times, I've seen blurbs that have an excerpt from a scene, information about the girl, information about the boy, then the questions of "what will happen when they meet???" and etc. Don't be afraid to be more creative. By using this same method, you're downplaying your story and giving your audience something they've seen a million times before. What is the real plot here? All I can see is that this will be a romance story, and the only information you've given here contains pretty much the same thing I've seen from a lot of amateur books on Wattpad. The italicized excerpt in the beginning is a wonderful hook for your blurb. It's interesting and makes your readers think. In the excerpt coming after, you're missing necessary commas, and you could break one sentence into several rather than stringing a lot of clauses into one.
