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BLURB:
All she wants is to get away.
Away from the palace.
Away from her parents.
When the chance to leave forever and go somewhere no one would expect presents itself, will she take it?
Or will she regret everything?
***
YOUR COVER: (8/10) I enjoyed the way you presented the font and how the photo used represents your story. This is one of those kinds of covers where it's hard to tell whether it's good or bad. You can definitely keep it as it is, but this wasn't an immediate "I love it" kind of cover. I suggest keeping your options open, and if you feel the need to, go to a cover designer on Wattpad.
YOUR TITLE: (8/10) Like your cover, your title isn't something I'm completely sure on. It looks like you found the title from your blurb or the concept of the story you're going with. I have found more stories with the same title on Wattpad, with many variations. It doesn't seem to reach the maximum potential to fully represent your story, almost in a generic way. Again, you can keep it as it is, but if you feel conflicted, open up yourself to the possibility of finding a better title.
YOUR BLURB: (4/5) One thing I like is how short and mysterious your blurb is. It hints at unhappiness and has some clue words, such as "palace." I didn't like how vague it was. There are many stories using this concept with different variations, and the point of the blurb is to show that your story is different. What aspects can you include that are unique and intriguing? What is the time period here, and where is the story placed? You didn't even mention her arranged marriage or the maid that helped her escape.
YOUR HOOK: (4/5) While I believe the hook to be a bit abrupt, you quickly engaged the audience with a thought/concept that your protagonist was worried about. It would have been better if you extended your analysis on marriage for your main character; to go more into depth on what it would mean for her. It seems like you only started the hook this way so you could find a way to let your audience know that your character was getting married. Try to let the reasoning go beyond that and don't forget to include imagery and in-depth descriptions to further hook in your audience.
YOUR GRAMMAR: (5/10) I found that you have the same kinds of grammar mistakes as I've pointed out for your other stories. Keep in mind that commas are used to separate different clauses within a sentence. An independent clause is a phrase with a subject and predicate (an action). In the sentence, "I went home," the subject is "I," and the predicate would be that she "went home." If two independent clauses were used in the same sentence and joined with a conjunction, they should still be separated with a comma. In the sentence, "Bob went to the store then he went home," these are two independent clauses. One is "Bob went to the store," where the subject is "Bob," and the predicate is he "went to the store." In the second clause, the subject is "he," and the predicate is that he "went home." These two clauses are joined by the conjunction "then," so they should be separated with a comma. Correction: "Bob went to the store, then he went home." Commas can also be used for dependent clauses. A dependent clause is just like an independent clause, except that it is "dependent" on the main clause, meaning that it doesn't make sense as a sentence by itself. An example of this is when you add dialogue tags, such as "she said." This clause has a subject "she" and the predicate, which is that she "said." However, it doesn't make sense as a sentence by itself, as it's dependent on the dialogue.
