Sirius~A Collection of Short Stories | Flame_of_Frost

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Here lies a compilation of short stories that I have been inspired to write, or have written for various prompt contests.

From encountering a cunning jewel thief to a mysterious murder on the day of Halloween, each story is unique and different. You'll meet an elusive murderer, and maybe run into an omen of bad luck. Or maybe you're the kind who'll wade into a manhole for an adventure, or hunt for a fabled lady in the woods...

Mystery, Humour, Action and Crime...dive right into this anthology and pick up a story that interests you the most!

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YOUR COVER: (6/10) The color scheme is eye-catching, and the effort put into the cover is admirable. However, there are some things I'd like to point out. First, the title font is smaller than I'd like it to be as a reader, and the font should be clear and easy to read. The author's name is hard to find, and the photo used can mislead potential readers. You probably know that the werewolf platform is huge on Wattpad, and if someone sees a cover with a wolf on the front, they're automatically going to think it's a werewolf story. I suggest that you use a photo that somehow represents your entire collection without being misleading.

YOUR TITLE: (10/10) It's unique and refreshing. I can see the personal connection you might have with it, and the aesthetic fits well with your story. I'm not sure if it completely represents your story. Keep in mind that a title is hard to find for a collection of stories, but you can look at the overall morals of each story. How do they relate to one another, and can you make a title out of it?

YOUR BLURB: (4/5) For the most part, I was pleased with the shortness and conciseness. There were some awkwardly phrased parts I noticed, however, and you could shorten sentences. For example, instead of saying, "a mysterious murder on the day of Halloween," since it's bit of a mouthful, you could instead say, "... a mysterious Halloween murder." You also have some repetition with the word "maybe," since you use that phrase two times in sentences right after one another. The genres should not be capitalized either, as it's unnecessary.

YOUR HOOK: (4/5) One thing I appreciated and a pattern I was quickly noticing was how your beginning always established the mood of each short story. The more light-hearted stories got a lighter beginning, while the mysterious or more serious ones started on a more dark note, such as the mentioning of the weather. I did notice, however, that even a few sentences into the story, most of your darker tales or twist-ending stories mentioned the weather; typically a stormy day or some chilly weather. Try to separate from this repetition. You could add some duality in your writing and have the worst things happen on a lovely, sunny day. Or you could hint at the mood of the story through other means than just the weather.

YOUR GRAMMAR: (8/10) In some of your dialogues, you struggled with the punctuation and tags at the end. If your dialogue is accompanied with a dialogue tag (he said, she yelled, they shouted, describing the way someone says something), the dialogue tag is a continuation of the dialogue sentence. For example, it makes little sense for the clause, "She said," to be a sentence by itself. Therefore, it's part of the dialogue sentence. The dialogue should end in a comma to indicate that the sentence isn't complete, and the start of a dialogue tag is not capitalized, as it's not the start of a new sentence. The opposite goes for action tags. If your dialogue is accompanied by an action tag (she grinned/he sighed/they walked away, basically an action), the action should not be part of the dialogue sentence. The dialogue doesn't help the action tag make sense; the action tag should be a sentence by itself. Therefore, the dialogue should end in a period to signify the end of the sentence, and the start of the action tag should always be capitalized, as it's the start of a new sentence. Of course, the punctuation may vary. Exclamation marks and question marks can end a dialogue regardless of the tag accompanying it, as long as if it's a dialogue tag, the dialogue never ends in a period, and for an action tag, it never ends in a comma.

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