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BLURB:
If you think you know her, you certainly don't. She doesn't even know herself.
Violette Charvet could never be more of a paradox than she already is:
There is free-spirited, crazy, adventurous Violette her best friend and family knows.
Then there is quiet, shy, overly-nice Violette who always keeps herself locked away behind her walls that the kids from school know. That's if they ever notice her existence.
But Elijah Turner knows that this is not Violette. He knows she's way more than her walls. But breaking them down will never be easy, because-oh I forgot to mention-
She hates men.
***
YOUR COVER: (8/10) I loved the creativity portrayed in the cover of your story! I can see that a lot of thought has been put into the title formatting and graphics used. It's tied with a feeling of abandonment and lightheartedness, which I'm not quite sure how I feel about yet. As long as you're comfortable with the way the cover looks and you believe it accurately represents your story's direction, I don't see a problem with it!
YOUR TITLE: (6/10) In English, your title translates to "The Sun, the Moon, and the Violettes." That doesn't really make sense to me. The word "les" is plural, meaning it's a definite article (the) that goes in front of a plural word. That would mean there is more than one Violette. Shouldn't the title be: "Le Soleil, La Lune, et La Violette"? ("la," because "Violette" is feminine). It translates to, "The Sun, the Moon, and Violette." I'm not sure if this is intentional or not that "Violettes" is plural; please let me know! I'm also confused as to why your title is in French; does it hold a specific meaning to the story?
YOUR BLURB: (4/5) I like the simplicity you weaved in your blurb. It was easy to read, clear to understand, and free of any grammatical/spelling errors. I got a good taste for your writing style. What I've gathered from your blurb is that Violette has different sides that she shows to different people (as everyone does), and Elijah wants to discover who she is beneath all these layers, but it'll be hard to do so because Violette hates men. This plot concept is rather vague and doesn't give away much information. Can you include a trigger action (the incident triggering the start of the story) as to why and what Elijah's motives are? Is there a deeper meaning to why Violette hates men? I didn't learn a lot about your story in your blurb, so make sure to add more to it.
YOUR HOOK: (4/5) I like that you dove straight into the story by portraying the relationships between your characters and their friendly banter. While it didn't start off with a bang, I could immediately see that you wrote your hook carefully, and it was free of any errors. There were still spots where you could add in some figurative language and more detail to the scene around your character, and I wasn't immediately pulled into your story. If you ever decide to rewrite your hook, I suggest focusing on feeding your audience the little details, and paint the mood of the story as vividly as you can. If you can't start off the story with someone dying or something other dramatic, you should probably make it as beautiful or as intriguing as you can. It's' the only way you can draw in your readers.
