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BLURB:
What happens when Tristan is asked to abduct the girl he loves? And what if an accidental guest comes along for the ride?
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Aella Dawson has a father that is a billionaire, a mother that is ill, and an unfortunate talent for uncovering dangerous secrets.
Tristan Villin is an enigma. The same enigma that has sex with Aella only to lose her trust two days later. But what happens when he is asked to abduct the girl he loves? And what if an accidental guest comes along for the ride?
Three tortured souls on a jungle escapade, surrounded by uncertain truths and white lies will decide the lives of many.
And more.
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YOUR COVER: (8/10) I can see how your cover relates to your story, and it draws in the right audience for your story. I'm a little confused, however, at what role the third main character you introduce in the blurb has to do in the story, considering he/she isn't featured on the cover at all (I'm assuming). Along with that, you can experiment with how you can present your title on your cover. What fonts and colors can you use? Is there a better place to write the author's name where it can be more noticeable? These things can all be improved.
YOUR TITLE: (10/10) I haven't even gotten around to reading your chapters yet, but I can already see how your title relates to your story. Letting your readers have a lightbulb moment like this is great, and shows that you did a wonderful job at choosing the right title for your story.
YOUR BLURB: (4/5) First off, I want to commend you on your blurb. It was so well written, and most importantly, it was short and concise. It's clear that you knew what you were doing when you wrote this, and it was clever to introduce your main characters while still staying on topic of the synopsis of your story. I suggest that you include Tristan's last name in your first sentence because by writing just his first name; it gives your readers the impression that they should know who he is—and it can look a little unprofessional. Along with that, how can you rephrase that sentence when you repeat it again in the middle portion of your blurb? Since it's repeated, it can be a little awkward for potential readers. Try thinking of a new way to display this information again without sounding repetitive; and slyly sneaking in more information at the same time.
YOUR HOOK: (4/5) I enjoyed reading your hook, because it immediately drew me in, and also informed me the state of mind Aella was in at the moment—and that she had experienced something like this before. I suggest that you also focus on the setting and the scene. I got the distinct impression that they were in a room, but it's vague enough that I'm not entirely sure. You want to ground your readers to where they are, so they can look around with your character, breathe the same air as your character, and experience the same things with your character. Along with that, you could definitely dramatize how Aella was feeling in the moment. There was a flash of sympathy from me—but that was it. If you want your readers to know how important Aella felt Tristan was—or could be—to her, you should go in depth about her facial expressions, body language, and stilted dialogue. There were a few grammar errors, but I'll address those later on in this review.
