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BLURB:
"I can't show you who I am."
~
Everyone has the side of them that they just can't show.
There's the girl who shuts the rest of the world out. Who's reserved. Scared. Broken. Afraid. Angry. Who puts on that "mean girl" face just to cover up her scars.
There's the boy who is always laughing. Always talking. Making jokes. But who is dealing with something at home.
Maybe they can help each other. If they let down their walls and stop running away.
~
Skye Johnson was okay- you could say cheerful- until her father died. That's when the abuse started. After that she became a stone that could never break.
Lucas Apollo has to tell jokes to cover up what he is going through. He seems perfectly fine, but he isn't. His mother left him and his father never seems to have time for him. And to top it all off, his step mom says appalling and nasty things to him every day.
***
YOUR COVER: (7/10) The photo quality is nice, and the title is clearly presented. However, I see no creativity in your cover. I've seen this photo used quite often for Wattpad books, and you could do more experimenting with the title font, sizing, and presenting. What filters can you add to the photo as well? Overall, you could keep the photo as it is, but I wasn't impressed. I suggest requesting for a new cover from a cover designer on Wattpad.
YOUR TITLE: (8/10) I can see a clear connection from your title to your story. It makes sense. However, the title is impressive on its own. It's bordering on generic and is similar to many titles I've seen on Wattpad; easily forgettable. Is there any unique title you could use, something that could capture the interest of potential readers? It can be a unique phrase or object, and as you continue writing, title ideas will probably come to mind. There's no problem with keeping the title as it is now, but if you find a better alternative, I suggest you use it.
YOUR BLURB: (2/5) There are three things I found wrong with your blurb. First, your blurb is too long. You have unnecessary information here, and half of your blurb could be removed. Second, your blurb looks unfinished. It doesn't have a note of finality after the last sentence, and I was expecting something to close off your synopsis. Lastly, you could restructure some sentences. I found some sentence structures to be awkward and could be tightened. For example, you wrote incomplete sentences. "But who is dealing with something at home" is a continuation of the topic of your prior sentence, but since it has a direct relation, it should be continued with a semicolon or comma, not a period. I found this to be common in your blurb, making your sentences sound broken and awkward. I'm not sure if this is purposeful or not, but it isn't grammatically accurate, so I suggest you fix these. If you mean to portray these as almost poem type structures as your style, then I suggest you separate these sentences into their own paragraphs. That way, your readers will know it's intentional.
