Are you an undiscovered writer searching for ways to improve your work and get some recognition? Apply to have your story reviewed here and expect honest feedback, brutal critiques, and to return with a story that can't ever be forgotten.
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BLURB:
Eight tales of love, eight stories, eight descents into madness.
The spoilt wife who leads the life of a puppet, a cocky high schooler who falls victim to her greatest fear, the suicidal German who falls in love at first sight...
This collection of short stories humorously explores the dark and ironic side of human behavior. With stories of unrequited love, vengeance, pain, prejudice and mystery, "Tales from a Jaded Writer" will gnaw the corners of your mind and challenge your ideas of love and life.
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YOUR COVER: (10/10) You've nailed the cover again. The way the font is presented is creative and unique, and it draws in the right audience. The photo is excellent quality, and your cover looks very professional. I can see time and effort has been put into it, even from where your name is presented on the front. Kudos to your cover designer!
YOUR TITLE: (10/10) Your title is self explanatory, and it also has a certain ring to it that I enjoy immensely. No changes are needed here.
YOUR BLURB: (5/5) Your blurb here is so much better compared to when I've reviewed your first story! I can see a lot of improvement, and I'm genuinely so excited right now. Your writing here is free of any grammar issues and spelling errors, while still expressing the content of your writing.
YOUR HOOK: (4/5) What I liked about your hooks for each story is that they were well planned out with thoughtful internal responses to a situation. You immediately brought me into your character's head and pointed out the scene and setting. One problem that I've seen recurring frequently with all your hooks were your tense slip-ups. If you're writing your story as though your character was recounting their past with a present voice, then it's fine. But if you're writing as though your characters are actually experiencing each new thing, (literary tense) right then and there—with a past voice, then the entire story should be in past tense. If the latter is your case, then the tense slip-ups should be corrected. A few examples are, "... knowing that it will go as quickly as it came." (p.1, Pride and Capriciousness), and "Love is shit," (p.2, Better Off Alone). I would love to know if your tense-shifts are intentional (and if so, keep in mind that tense-shifts are for direct internalization, and should only happen with and during a break in your passage). Along with that, there were a few sentences I found to be awkward and could be restructured better. Try to clean up unnecessary filler words cushioning verbs and such.,
YOUR GRAMMAR: (6/10) I've seen several types of mistakes in your writing, and the most frequent one is your use of commas. Keep in mind that commas are used to separate several clauses. Think of a sentence as containing several topics. You want to separate each topic with a comma (though there are a few exceptions). You can research this on your own later, but I've spotted a lot of missing commas, and the occasional unnecessary comma. In future writing, ask yourself if the comma is needed or not.
