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BLURB:
"you should go to the other room" he said
She looked at him in shook its there first night.
He is nervous and open his mouth to say something.After a while, he said "your father makes a deal with me that if I marry you he will give me half of his property. My company is in loss and I don't want to marry you coz I am not interested in you, you are not my type.i fell disturb when you are around me!
It is all he said to her.
She got up from bed and a hot tear escape from eye and she left his room. She did not said a word to him.
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Roya knight-she is good. Age=22 educated and shy in nature. She is rich but she is also black in color. She never wear something so revealing. Simple and always smile. And she is tall, slim, perfect body, and her eyes is most attractive. She has every good thing but only lack of personality is her color.
Johnson Robin - He is handsome. Every girl dream about him. He has well built body. He has blue eyes and white men. He is men of his word. Age=27. He run huge business and he has so many girlfriend.
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YOUR COVER: (3/10) I'm not sure what all these black lines are that you have going on, and I wasn't able to make a connection between the cover and your story. I suggest going to a cover maker on Wattpad and requesting a cover that will better suit your story.
YOUR TITLE: (3/10) Your title is not appealing to your audience. It doesn't look like you spent a lot of time thinking of the best title for your story. Remember that for a story, the title is extremely important because it will help the reader's first impression of your story. If your story is about two people in an arranged marriage falling in love, then maybe your title could be something symbolic or a quote from your story. Don't title it as listing the description of your story; you still want to have the mysterious air and romantic quality to describe your book.
YOUR BLURB: (1/5) I've had to read your blurb several times to make sense of it. You have a lot of grammatical errors, so I suggest you rewrite your blurb and fix these mistakes. A few of these errors include spelling errors (you wrote "shook" instead of "shock"), tense slip-ups, capitalization errors, and you struggle with plural and singular words. Along with that, your verb is a format that I am very familiar with on Wattpad. Many writers tend to insert dialogue from their story into their blurb, then describe the female protagonist and male protagonist from their physical appearance. But are their perfect bodies and beauty really relevant to the plot? I suggest mixing up your blurb and try making your own format to fit the story. The dialogue from your story you've included is not necessary to include. You should only be adding a general idea of what your story is about. If your plot is about an arranged marriage, then just say that it's about an arranged marriage. Along with that, when you are writing a story, it is unprofessional to use words such as "coz" and you should write out numbers. For example, instead of saying "22," say "twenty-two." You should say "is" instead of "=." In this point of the story, you should not be telling your readers the race of their skin color, their perfect bodies, and how rich and dreamy they are. I'd like to point out that not only are these descriptions cliche and boring, but they don't contribute to the personalities of your characters at all. In writing a story, personalities trump physical appearances—always.
