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BLURB:
This is the story of two Jewish girls in Poland during the Second World War. A happy ending? Time will tell.
Always on the move, the two girls learn the meaning of love through their adventures. A poignant tale of trust, danger, life, and hope, The Stargazer shows the meaning of hope through words woven together.
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YOUR COVER: (10/10) The title is easily the largest text on the cover, and the font used is easy to read and fits with the cover theme. The quality of the photo was good, and can easily attract a lot of attention from potential readers. Well done here!
YOUR TITLE: (7/10) When I typed your title into the search bar on Wattpad, quite a few books with the same title popped up. The title didn't capture my attention as well as the cover did, and I have yet to find how it's significant to your story. However, I'm sure there's an important meaning behind the title that'll be revealed later throughout the story. As long as you believe it accurately represents your story, you're good to go.
YOUR BLURB: (4/5) There weren't any grammatical errors, and while it was short and concise, it was missing something. I found it to be too vague. Is the story just going to focus on the hardships of being Jewish during the war, or is there a more specific triggering action here? Is there a specifically important scene that affects the entire story and have you thought about hinting at it in your blurb? What about including a short (but important) excerpt from your story?
YOUR HOOK: (3/5) I was a bit confused with the way you started out. I caught one grammatical error, and although you started off with the right concept, I feel that you didn't display the information the best you could. How can you rephrase these first sentences to sound better? What imagery can you include, or metaphors to further hook in readers?
YOUR GRAMMAR: (8/10) I was impressed by the lack of grammar errors. However, I found that there were some repetitive, frequent comma mistakes. Commas are used to separate different clauses within a sentence. An independent clause is a phrase with a subject and a predicate (the action in the phrase). In the clause, "I ran away," the subject is "I," and the predicate is "ran away." If there are two clauses within a sentence, joined with a conjunction, the two clauses need to be separated. In the sentence, "I ran away and Billy chased after me," there are two clauses. The first is "I ran away," and the second is, "Billy chased after me." You know that this is an independent clause because it has a subject "Billy," and a predicate "chased after me." The two clauses are joined with the conjunction, "and." Therefore, a comma should be placed. The correction would be: "I ran away, and Billy chased after me." There are also dependent clauses, which also have a subject and predicate. The different here is that the dependent clause is dependent, meaning that it's connected to the main clause. For example, the sentence, "I decided not to," it's a dependent clause because it doesn't hold any significance on its own. It should be connected to another clause that further explains the what and why. For dependent clauses, they can also be separated with a comma from the main clause, but it varies on the different sentence structures you use. Commas are also used to separate introductory words or phrases from the main clause. In the sentence, "Today I went home," the main clause is "I went home," as it has a subject and predicate. The word "Today" is not part of the clause, so it should be separated with a comma. The correction would be, "Today, I went home." Keep these rules in mind for future writing.
