When It All Fades To Green (2) | Total_KOTLC_Fan

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BLURB:

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BLURB:

Evelyn Myre never meant to swallow a star.

But one night, Eve gets out of bed, planning to spend a peaceful night sleeping beneath the twinkling stars. But life doesn't always go exactly according to plan, does it?

She makes it outside, but the night is far from peaceful. And the days that follow? They will make Eve regret ever wishing on that star.

Because sometimes, wishes come true.

***

YOUR COVER: (8/10) I enjoyed the color scheme of your cover! It ties in with your title, and I can tell that a lot of thought has been put in choosing the right cover for your story. The title, however, is a little hard to see. You can keep the cover as it is, but I personally feel that it doesn't express your story as well as it should.

YOUR TITLE: (9/10) I did see a connection with the color green and your story! I have to admit that I'm still struggling to see it accurately and fully represent your story, but it could be because I've only read the first six chapters of your story.

YOUR BLURB: (4/5) Your blurb is clean of any grammatical errors, and it accurately represents your story. I did feel that your sentences were a bit plain. How can you restructure each phrase to be unique, eye-catching, and captivating? What kinds of similes and metaphors can you add? What about descriptions that are dreamy and beautiful? Don't be afraid to play around with your blurb until you think it shows off your writing capabilities to its fullest potential.

YOUR HOOK: (5/5) Since your hook is the same as before (except for the change of perspectives) my feedback is the same! It was intriguing, straight to the point, and captivating.

YOUR GRAMMAR: (9/10) I definitely saw an improvement with your use of commas! There were still a few instances where you misused commas, but I've pointed them out for you, and hopefully you'll be able to spot the pattern of repetition with each mistake, and learn to correct them in future writing. I did find a few tense slip-ups, and there were words misused in certain situations. I've pointed them down in your chapter critiques as well.

YOUR SPELLING ERRORS: (5/5) I didn't find any typos in your writing! You did a wonderful job with editing and proof-reading your writing. There were some spots where questionable word choices were used, but I've made sure to point them out for you.

YOUR PLOT: (20/20) Honestly, I've seen a few instances where a writer used this concept; of having their wishes come true, and it slowly turns into something they shouldn't have tampered with. However, while reading your story, I felt like I was relearning these things all over again. You executed the plot perfectly and dived straight into the action. The wish about the hair color and eye color changes were unique and fresh, and I had a good laugh while reading it! (This part was copied and pasted from your previous review, as the plot remains the same). To add to this, I noticed that you mentioned the genre, for this was science fiction. From reading your first six chapters, I don't think this is the right genre for your story. There was mentioning of mysterious hair color changes, star-swallowing, changes in eye color, and dragons. This points to fantasy, but as these magical elements are presented in a realistic world setting, I believe the accurate representation for this story would be magical realism (which is exactly what it sounds like). Since magical realism is part of the fiction genre, I suggest placing this book in the fiction category (sounds unbelievable, with the contents of your story, I know. But I have researched this).

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