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BLURB:
Emma White and Chloe Mitchell are known for their pure and firm friendship. When they decide to spend their summer in a beautiful town called Oceanshell Town, everything turns upside down.
Mangled fingers and dead bodies of the inhabitants start turning up all over the town and the scared people claim that a dead man's spirit has awoken and is behind all this.
Matters worsen when Chloe goes missing, and Emma is left with nothing but depression. Questions fill up her already unstable mind.
𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘯?
𝘐𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘢 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘵?
𝘈𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘶𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴?
𝘐𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘦?
Emma enlists the help of a popular artist called Harriet Jones, who does not believe the rumours. Can they find out the answers to all the questions before everything's lost?
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YOUR COVER: (4/10) I would have appreciated more color in the cover. I understand that the color scheme used portrays your story and genre, but it won't stand out amongst other covers of different mystery/thriller stories. Additionally, while the image used could represent your story genre, it doesn't represent your story or your title. The title itself and the font used are not creatively taking up the space, and the font seems more like something on the cover of a diary than a mystery thriller. I suggest going to a cover designer on Wattpad, and there are many amazing cover shops featured in my reading list.
YOUR TITLE: (5/10) Again, this seems to portray the genre of your story, but I feel that it would attract more readers attracted to horror and gore than mystery thrillers. It doesn't have a neat ring to it that makes it a memorable title. It also doesn't seem to represent your story; it only represents one part of it, which is that mangled fingers were showing up. There should be an overarching reason that represents your entire story. This could be a character's name, it could include the story setting, or a symbolic object used repeatedly and symbolically throughout the story.
YOUR BLURB: (3/5) For the most part, your blurb was grammatically clean and free of errors. I appreciated this, but I also noticed that you had unnecessary information and filler words within your sentences. You could shorten and tighten your sentences to only include the triggering action, conflict, and obstacles within the story. For example, the whole part about Emma having questions should not be included within the blurb. You can portray her thoughts and self-reflection in the actual story, but these do not contribute to the overall plot. You have some repetition with the word "town" in the first paragraph, and I recommend shortening it to "... they decide to spend their summer in Oceanshell Town..." so that "town" is only used once. You have generic statements, such as Emma spiraling into depression and having questions. This is a mystery story, and while reactions/emotions are important, they do not make the plot, and therefore shouldn't be included in the blurb. If you want to include a sense of anxiety/urgency within the blurb, you could add that time was running out, or that Emma was in danger of losing something if she didn't solve this mystery in time.
