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BLURB:
Mazoku was sacrificed in a Satanic ritual and due to that was possessed by a demon with one thought and goal: demolition. Now he regained his part of his mind he has two goals in his mind: restoring his soul and getting vengeance on who sacrificed him. However it won't be easy. Everyone is against him with the turmoil he caused and his nemesis is at the top of the leadership. Mazoku will need his friends with him to get revenge on who wronged him. It's time for the demoniac to burn it all!***
YOUR COVER: (4/10) The photo might draw in the right audience for your story, but it appears that not a lot of effort was put into designing the cover. The cover is extremely important, as it's a first impression of your story for potential readers. The title is hard to read, there's no author's name presented, and you could play around with photo filters, font colors/styles, and more. I suggest you change the cover and there are many cover designers on Wattpad who can help you.
YOUR TITLE: (9/10) I like the title for your story! It suits your plot and gives your reader a good idea of what your story is about. At the same time, I feel that some readers may want to know more than just basing it off a slightly generic title. Is there another title that holds more meaning to your story? You can definitely leave it as it is, but try to think about specific phrases or objects throughout the story, and a better title may come to mind.
YOUR BLURB: (4/5) I was impressed by your blurb! It's short, concise, and there's no unnecessary information presented here! I usually have some trouble figuring out the story from blurbs, but I got a good general idea of your story just from your blurb! The only thing to do now is restructure some sentences and untangle some of your phrases. Some readers may have to look twice at your blurb to make sense of it, so try to break it up into several parts. I suggest separating your blurb into several paragraphs to make it easier on the eyes, and experiment with your diction. What filler words can be removed, and how can you restructure some sentences? When writing a sentence of your blurb, try to think about how to make the sentence as short, as clear, and as tightened as possible. What is the best possible way to present a sentence?
YOUR HOOK: (4/5) While your story didn't start off with a bang, it still brought me into the story, and made me aware of your character's surroundings. I found some issues with your tense, but I'll point that out later in your chapter reviews.
YOUR GRAMMAR: (4/10) The main thing I'm seeing here are your run-on sentences. You have sentences that are over two paragraphs long, and it can be hard for readers to understand it without skimming over it. I've made some suggestions in your chapter reviews, but keep in mind that commas are used to separate "topics" within a sentence. With the sentence, "she ran away furiously tears streaming down her cheeks," One topic is that she ran away. The other topic is that tears were streaming down her cheeks. Therefore, they should be separated with a comma. Correction: "She ran away furiously, tears streaming down her cheeks." With more complex sentence structures, the rules for commas do change as well. This can be confusing, so I suggest that you do more research on your own, or to get a helpful writing site (ProWritingAid), which will point out your mistakes and help you learn from them.
