Petrified (Sirius Black)

6

Chapter 6
Goodnight

Before reading this i totally recommend listening to "another love" by Tom Odell :)) anyways enjoy this chapter
—

Sirius POV

I ran through the corridors searching for y/n. I looked in the great hall, the courtyard, up in the astronomy tower and I even asked a group of young Slytherins if they'd seen her.
But no trace, nothing. I ran back to Gryffindor common room pleading for James and Peter to help. "Where did Remus go?" I asked, and both the boys just shrugged. I scrambled through Remus's desk and found the letter and read it over again. She was in the library.
I don't know how I'd missed it last time, it was just a blur I suppose. However, I told James and Peter I didn't need them and so then I ran as quickly as I could to the library.
I ran up so many flights of stairs that I'd lost count. But once I reached the seventh floor I ran into the library out of breath. I contracted over trying to catch my breath, I took a final deep breath and advanced forwards looking through the aisles.

As I walked through the only thing on my mind was the letter. Was it a possibility Remus loves y/n? Or y/n loves Remus? Or just friends?
We're they..
We're they?
There they were, at the back of the library.
Y/n was copying down Remus's notes while Remus was making her laugh.
They were both laughing and smiling, that should be me making her smile, that should be me helping her with homework, that .. should be.

I'd suddenly felt a wave of jealously roll through me, Merlin all I want is for Regulus to fuck off and let me live my life.
Regulus has always been the perfect son, he got in Slytherin, and kept the legacy of the house of Black. Regulus wasn't hidden and frowned upon like I am.
And then there is me, Gryffindor and referred to as the screw up, I was the one my parents were ashamed of, and Regulus still makes it seem like I have the perfect life?
If Regulus would just leave me alone, maybe I'd have went on a second date with y/n, maybe y/n would be at her classes,
maybe id actually have a shot with her.
She's so, she's everything I want, she's what I dream of in a girl, smart, beautiful, funny, witty.. I could go on for hours about how amazing she truly is.

I was obviously so caught up In my thoughts, because when I finally focused on what was in front of me, y/n was looking at me with a panicked face.
She quickly looked away and tapped Remus's knee
"What?" He laughed, and y/n said nothing she just looked in my direction.
—

Remus POV

I looked up to see Sirius standing looking distressed and tired.
I know Sirius wants answers and he wants to give an explanation but how do I tell him,
"So Sirius, you know that girl you really like.. yeah y/n, so she's super mad at you because you stood her up and she never wants to see you again? But she likes to hang out with me and gets along well with James too... and especially your brother Regulus."

Because that would go over great.

I stood up and walked towards Sirius,
"Sirius. Please leave. Please it's for the best." I whispered,
"No, Remus I need to tell her." Sirius protested,
When he said that y/n looked at Sirius curiously.. like she wanted to know, but she hates his guts currently.
"I don't think today is the.. day." I said warning him to leave.
But Sirius doesn't listen well.
—

Sirius POV

I walk up to Y/n and sit facing her, "Y/n." I breathe, but she ignores me and continues copying down notes. I place a hand on her knee trying to gain her attention and she quickly slaps it off.
Fair.
"Y/n please listen to me." I plead, but she continues to ignore me,
"Y/n give me two minutes. That's all I need." I confess, she doesn't look at me but she nods her head indicating she is listening, but still continues to write.
"Saturday. I wanted to be there, I wanted to be there so badly." I started,
"Well clearly you didn't." She mumbled.
"But Regulus, Regulus doesn't want me to se-" I tried to explain to her but Remus made a quick coughing noise. Oh Merlin i'm in trouble.
I looked up and there stood Regulus.
Merlin's beard, someone save me.

"I knew you couldn't do it. You couldn't even last two weeks without talking to her? I knew you couldn't ignore her-" Regulus stopped when he met eyes with y/n.
He said too much.
Yes.
Y/n looks to Regulus and then me,
"Wow! How could've I expected less from you two, I really had faith in you too. That I wasn't some big prank, but wow, this one was great. Hilarious. You two are so funny." Y/n laughed sarcastically obviously pissed off.
"Y/-" Regulus and I said in unison trying to explain,

"No! I don't even want to hear it, you guys play me like I'm a stupid game. All I wanted was a normal year. I should've had known better. How could the infamous "Black brothers"  be anything but foul and cruel!" She spat before getting up and leaving quickly.
It hurt knowing that's what she thought of our family, which I do not blame her for, but I'm not like them.
I had an idea. I knew it was stupid. But so am I, so I went with it.

"Stupefy!" I shouted shooting Regulus in the chest making him fall to the floor, "You are going to let me follow her." I hissed, "And I'll do the same to you if you try to stop me." I seethed, while pointing my wand at Remus.
Remus just nodded not wanting to get in my way.

I ran as fast as I could, in fact, I don't think I've ever ran this fast in my life. I ran towards Slytherin common room praying Y/n went there.
As I ran I scrambled my mind for the password I overheard a few days ago... Salazar.. L.. Legimency.
I arrived in front of the doors "Legimency?" I said and the door clicked and I sighed in relief.
I quickly walked through and saw a young Slytherin girl, "Where is y/n? No. Where are the girls dormitories?" I asked, and the young girl just returned me a dirty look "What the hell are you doing in here?" she asked, "Just bloody tell me where."  and she pointed to a stairwell, "Thank you so much." I said still out of breath.

I ran up the stairs until I expected was far enough, "Y/n? Please, Y/n it's Sirius. I know I'm the last person you want to see right now.. I just want to explain everything." I trembled, and within seconds a door slowly opened and I met eyes with a teary eyed girl.
Merlin I hate myself.

Tears streamed down her face while she tried to bring her breathing back to a normal pace, "Why? Why me?" She asks while her voice trembles.
I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to justify that.
So she closed the door and I could hear her slide down with her back facing the door.
So I sat down with my back against the door and searched for words.
"I didn't want any of this. I hope you know that."
No response.

"Y/n, I sound so pathetic saying all this but when I see you I get this .. feeling, I don't know if it's nervousness? I mean you're very intimidating but in a good way... or happiness because you're so amazing. Or maybe it's both. But that day at Hogsmeade was one of the best days of my life, and maybe it's cause I haven't had many 'good days' but you made me feel something that no one else does."
No response again.

"You have every right to hate me. Just know I didn't want any of this. I even hate myself, and I'm practically in love with myself." I tease trying to add some humour to the situation.
I heard a quiet laugh.
This is progress.
"I'm going to let you be, but know I'm here. Always."
"Goodnight Y/n." I said while standing up and began to walk away, but I heard a voice. Shaky and quiet.
"Goodnight Sirius."

A/n

NDJDNS I LISTENED TO ANOTHER LOVE ON REPEAT WHILE WRITING THIS LMAO.

Anyways that's all I have to say, - c <33