Petrified (Sirius Black)

20

Chapter 20
I don't care

Y/n POV

It's been a week, maybe 2, since the breakup or I guess we never 'broke up' but we both know it's over. I haven't seen Sirius much in class, he barley shows up. And when he does he's either drunk, or half asleep or both. You can tell he feels horrible but I could care less. When he entered transfiguration today you could smell the fire whiskey from across the room and Professor Mcgonagall immediately gave him detention for being drunk in class. Everyday was the same and beginning to feel like a blur, it began to feel like one endless loop. I haven't talked to Remus, Peter nor James since the incident but I have talked to Lily, she feels horrible and tells me constantly how much of a disaster Sirius is. But I really don't care.

Étienne seems to be doing great with Mary and it's honestly a relief to not have him always around me. And here's the worst part of all. I've began to talk to Regulus again, he apologized for everything and now that me and Sirius aren't friends at all, I think it's alright if I'm friends with Regulus. Sage and Alden are gone quite often there usually at Hogsmeade or in the courtyard but I don't interfere so I stay back and hang out with Reg.

"I warned you about him," Regulus remarked, "I know, I know." I confessed. "You also haven't left this couch all day, so why don't we go for a walk." Regulus suggested. "But I don't want to-." I complained, "Wasn't a question, and I'm not here to debate." Regulus confirmed while grabbing my arm and beginning to pull me out of the common room, "Can I at least get changed ?" I complained. "You have 5 minutes." Regulus smiled while letting go of my arm as I ran to my dorm, "I'm starting the timer now l/n!" He yelled while laughing. I got to my dorm and brushed my hair and pulled on my tie and not tying it, I threw my robe on quickly and ran out, "What was my time?" I laughed, "quick enough." Regulus praised. He quickly tied my tie, you would think after going to this bloody school for 5 years I would figure out how to tie a tie, but what's the point when Remus or Reg does it for me?

We walked out of the common room and went towards the black lake and I sat down throwing rocks into the lake, "I'm sorry for everything." Regulus broke the silence, "Its okay, just please don't scare guys away from me again." I laughed, "Fine." Regulus laughed, I rested my head on his shoulder and felt comfort for the first time in weeks. "Oh moving on fast l/n." James chimed, "We're just friends you bloody moron." I seethed. "Don't you have something better to do Potter? Like chase Lily around like a helpless romantic?" Regulus laughed, James looked to the two of us and laughed to himself "Oh Sirius would be pleased about the two of you hanging out. Very shallow of you l/n to go right away for his brother." James chuckled, "Tell him then, I could care less." I laughed, and James looked almost shocked and didn't know what to say "Yeah, because y/n is in the wrong? Sirius is the one who was seeing other girls." Regulus scoffed. And with that James walked away infuriated, I turned to Regulus and put my hand out and he gave it a high five and I laughed, this is what I needed. Maybe I just needed to yell at someone? Or have someone tell Sirius that I don't fucking care. But Sirius still crosses my mind each night, memories of us together dancing in the rain repeat in my head constantly I still care, and I hate myself for it.

Sirius' POV

"Well she was sitting with Regulus and looked to be doing perfectly fine." James said, "Good. She deserves to be happy." I smiled in attempt to be happy but that should be me making her smile, that should be me comforting her by the lake. "How are you fine with her being with your brother?" Peter asked, "I'd rather it be anyone else than my brother, but if she's doing alright. It's alright." I trembled before hiding my face into a pillow trying to escape the reality of losing my person.

I woke up later in the night it was maybe 7 or 8 and none of the boys were there so I went to the astronomy tower to get some 'air' I walked there making sure I didn't see any of the boys on the way there. I wanted to be alone.

Regulus POV

I had to leave the common room, seeing y/n in such a state of misery was so difficult, so I left to go for a walk and eventually found myself climbing the stairs to the astronomy tower, almost reaching the top a waft of smoke hit me, but I continued only to see a boy with dark brown long- it was my brother. He turned around and looked at me with a cigarette between his fingers, "Please leave Reg." He pleaded, I ignored him and walked to the railing leaning over the tower taking in the fresh air, well air full of smoke. Sirius turned to me and offered me a cigarette but I declined. "How is she?" Sirius asked, "Do you want the truth or a lie?" I asked, "The truth." Sirius mumbled, "Not well." I said, "Fuck this is all my fault." Sirius said as he pushed himself away from the tower and put his hands to his head running his hand through his hair and he was pacing, "Shes getting better." I interfered, "Reg please take care of her." Sirius pleaded, "Of course." I replied, "Please make her feel loved, tell her how much she matters. Also buy her candles, she loves candles." Sirius slightly smiled, "And just for reference, I never was seeing other girls. Aurora used a love potion and I wish there was a way I could prove that to y/n, but she doesn't believe me." Sirius frowned, "I'm sorry." I said, you could tell how much he loves her, I have to try and make this right. Even though y/n is amazing, I don't deserve her. Sirius does.