Petrified (Sirius Black)

59

Chapter 59
Mourn

Sirius POV

My eyes met Regulus', everything was a bit blurry from the tears flooding my eyes. If I was here sooner, if I had been a better brother.
I told him I'd protect him, like I always had.
As he would cower from mother, I'd stand up for him. Blocking him while he hid behind my back, I'd do anything to protect him. But now he's gone, I missed him by such a small amount of time. I'm sorry Reggie, I tried my hardest I swear. I'd tried to protect you everywhere, and i'd do anything to see you again,
But another time okay?

The dark lord had apparated out of foolishness, he knew I was angry and would stop at nothing for vengeance. I sobbed beside Regulus cold body apologizing over and over. I felt like I could hear his voice repeating over and over in my head telling me to leave him, but I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I would not. Remus slowly kneeled beside me placing a hand on my back as I sobbed over Regulus body, I shook Regulus once hoping it was just a stupid and sick joke, but it was real.
Regulus Black was gone at fifteen.

I'd never wanted to leave his side, I was so mad at myself for not being sooner that I thought the least I could do was stay by him, so he wasn't alone, he hated to be alone but was by himself so often. So I would not let him be by himself.
Remus kept an eye out for death eaters but it seemed like they'd all been retreating, our order had put up a pretty good fight. I just wish we could go back to when we would sing in our dorms with y/n secretly judging us on the side, or throwing snow balls at y/n while she was stranded in the middle of the ice. And we had no worries, just maybe an upcoming potions test, or if we'd get caught sneaking y/n into our dorms. But now we had to be careful of not getting killed and watching our backs at all times. I want to go back in time, back to when life was fun and hilarious. Back to when we got in detention every day for doing some horrible prank.
I miss it, I miss it all.
But I miss Reggie already, and I don't want to live without him. But I lost my chance to make a difference, "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you from everything. I tried Reggie. I really did." I sobbed before Remus pulled me away.

—

Y/n POV

Guilt has followed me around like an alternate appearance, I don't know why I feel this way, but something just doesn't feel.. right?
I wish Sirius had taught me how to apparate cause I would be back fighting in a heart beat, but that isn't an option.
I'm hoping Regulus will show up soon and take me back, I just want to be back and in the general vicinity of Sirius, I just want to know he's safe.
But that isn't an option, so I stay sitting on the couch with my head resting on my knees awaiting someone, anyone to take me back, take me back to my person.
—

Few days have passed, very slow days. Awaiting someone, staring throughout the window searching for someone to come search for me, but nothing. Days began to feel like an endless cycle that were getting repetitive. I'd found an old book and began to read it while sitting on the couch and then there was finally a knock at the door. I threw on a hood and looked through the window to make sure it wasn't someone dangerous. I looked out the window to two boys, one with his long dark hair and the other tall with the classic scar across his face.

They're here! I opened the door, and quickly wrapped my arms around Sirius. I took in the feeling of being with a human presence and not just my own thoughts. He quickly held me close. I pulled away and hugged Remus with a big grin.
"Can we leave.. please." I said with a huge smile.
"Well I think we should.. talk." Sirius said gloomily.

We sat down on the couch, Sirius beside me and Remus sitting on the floor criss cross,
"Well. You missed some stuff." Remus said attempting to start some sort of conversation.
"Y- yeah I assumed so." I added hoping Sirius would say something "James and Lily are missing. Peter betrayed us and-." Sirius began but he stopped, "James and Lily where? What." I asked, "They were in the school and we searched everywhere and they're no where to be found." Remus added, "And Sirius, you were about to say something, is everything okay?" I asked curiously. Sirius eyes began to fill with tears.
Sirius didn't cry often, or really at all. He sat there in silence, "Should I tell her?" Remus asked, but Sirius just shook his head, "I- I really should tell her." Sirius began, "Regulus, he's - he's gone." Sirius trembled, "What do you mean.. gone?" I asked praying that he meant he retreated with the dark lord, but I was afraid not.
"The dark lord killed him." Sirius said while collapsing his head to my shoulder,
"I was too late! I was right there." Sirius screamed out.

"Sirius it's hard to accept, but it was not your fault, nor could you have stopped him," Remus added, "I know! I know!" Sirius lashed out, "I was supposed to protect him through everything! I made one promise to him.. I was seven and he was six. We sat outside on the hill, he sat close beside me with tears in his eyes after being yelled at by mum. He asked me to protect him, I told him I'd always protect him. Nothing would happen to him, but.." Sirius cried out. "But I didn't, I messed up." Sirius whimpered.
I began to cry, Regulus was gone. That amazing bubble of sarcasm, and a bit of sass was gone .. forever. "I am so sorry Sirius." I trembled before running my finger through his hair trying to calm him.

I'm so sorry Regulus.

Authors note

Sorry I didn't update yesterday I got super busy..

Have an amazing day/night -c <33