So I don't forget again

Entry 145: Zora's Domain

I'm not allowed to go outside quite just yet, but I can go out of the room now! I can at least walk around and I didn't break the splint once today!

*I can't help but wonder though if it's because I never took my eyes off you.

I think I would have been alright, but I appreciate keeping an eye on me.

I'm not feeling as tired as before in any way. We talked a lot about what I said at the shores. About how I'm not alone in this, even if it feels like it sometimes, how things are different this time, about the Yiga following us and the destruction they could bring...

About my guilt over Friend's death and starving Bossa Nova. I didn't exactly have direct control over either situation, I realize that, but I still feel like it's my fault. If I never had met Friend, just saved her from the guardians and left her alone after that she might still be alive. And because I can't remember how I fell a hundred years ago; I wonder if I somehow got everyone killed. Maybe if I somehow acted faster, they'd be alive, but now... I'm the only person left, everyone else is just dead. I... the thought I've avoided writing, making somewhat real is this:

I feel like I should have died with them, of all of them I survived only because I was placed in the revitalizing Chamber. Why couldn't they have been placed in as well, of everyone why did I get a second chance at life, and not them? What if I fall again and I'm placed back in the Revitalizing Chamber and everyone I've grown to love in this time dies. What if because of whatever the chamber did to me, I'll never die and I just keep out-living everyone, no matter what. That I'm just going to be completely alone forever till the whole world comes to an end, but it seems I survived that once, so... I can't bare the thought of that. I can't handle anyone else dying...

I think this is why I begged you to not die. I don't want to be left behind anymore, as awful and selfish as it sounds or is. I just can't take going on like this. I can't handle all this death anymore. I told you before I was scared of being lonely, how when journeying it hurts to make friends and get attached to people only to have to leave for some place else... It seems this theme is just a part of all things in my life. Being alone. I know Bossa Nova travels with me, and he does bring me comfort, but... when he has to fall asleep and I find I am unable to do so too... I'm scared I'll wake up in a different time again, it just hurts, so much. I usually end up reading the entries when we were together or the letters you wrote, those and Bossa Nova make me feel better, but then I end up missing you, and wish I was back here with you. It hurts, but not as badly. But then... I think about if I were to outlive you, outlive a zora, people who live for so long.

*I'm simply glad you feel comfortable enough to share this with me, something you even feared to share with yourself up till now.

It's nice to let this all out, but it's also strange, I'm just... I'm glad and also feel odd about this. I never acknowledged this much, so just putting it out there is a new experience, I think.

Talking wasn't the only thing we did though, I got to show off my cooking! It was especially fun since the kitchen was much closer to my size and I didn't have to keep standing on a stool or asking for help.

*Yes! Your cooking was just delectable! I loved hearing you speak about it, how to mix spices, or about how to properly work with hydromelons! I could watch you do so for hours, but unfortunately my stomach is not big enough for that.

Once I'm healed, I can cook you anything you'd like and polish off anything you can't finish.

*That sounds just lovely! You also said you wanted to learn some zora cuisine so once you can leave the medical bay, I'm going to take you to learn some! It pleases me so greatly that you wish to learn of my people's culture, food means so much to us, just as our architecture and weapon crafting. All things we have refined generation after generation, I'm sure you'll love our dishes.

I already know I do; I've tried them before at the feast that was held after we saved the Divine Beast.

*Yes, but you've yet to cook them. I know you'll have a ball creating them.

*Although, if I may be so bold to say so, I would like to try some more Gerudo cuisine. Even if I was in the area for a moment, could not stay long then or possibly even ever, so getting the chance to try some would be remarkable. Cooking is something deeply rooted in many cultures so by trying their food, I could possibly understand them better, and make closer ties between us in the future.

I'd be glad to cook you Gerudo cuisine any time! And if it's safe for the village to do so, maybe I could stay in Rito Village for a time and learn their recipes.

would love to try anything else you make.

Who knows, maybe after all this I'll become a traveling chef or something. That sounds nice. Going back to Hateno and showing everyone any new dishes I find or make.

I hope everyone is safe.

Please let them be safe.

Thank you for the hug, Sidon.