So I don't forget again

Entry 48: Zora's Domain

I asked the King and Prince Sidon what Mipha was like. The King said she was extremely kind to everyone, even strangers. He welcomed the idea of Mipha and I marrying because of an old legend where that happened.

It was welling up.

Sidon said that he recalled a fuzzy memory recently. A swordsman, me, came by every so often and spent a lot of time with Mipha. At the time he felt as if I was stealing her away from him. He mentioned that if things had turned out differently, I might have become his brother-in-law.

It was still welling up.

Towards the end the King gave me a gift. Mipha's trident. When using it, in a way it'd be like she was protecting me.

It wouldn't stop.

I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stay in my room. I needed air. I marched to the edge of town and sat at the edge of a bridge.

I couldn't hold it in anymore.

It came bursting out as loud sobbing. It hurt so much. I couldn't stop crying nor did I want too. I just lost myself in the tears. I let myself completely break down. That was till I felt my right arm being gently held.

He heard that I had left my room and wanted to check up on me since I wasn't sleeping despite it being so late in the night. He saw me crying. He didn't want to leave me alone, but he also didn't want to be intrusive, so he held my arm.

I felt his grip loosen and I swiftly placed one of my hands on his. I was scared, I was desperate. I didn't want him to go. I couldn't take it. It all came pouring out between hiccups and sobs. My confusion about my feelings, whether this burning, prickling feeling welling up in my breast was because the past me loved Mipha and was mourning, or if this was simply guilt for forgetting someone whom I had known for so long. My memories, only being able to recall short scenes with the Princess or the Champions, but nothing else, nothing about who I used to be or the life I lived before that. Wanting to connect to others but feeling so isolated I can't. I want to connect but I know I can't stay. I know that I'll have to leave soon. My loneliness. The feeling of isolation, I don't even have myself, not knowing who I am. The fear of never seeing anyone I meet again. Of forgetting everything again. In the end. I just don't want to be alone, it's what I fear most.

At some point my words were muddled, and they left me.

*Some of what you spoke of I do not have firsthand experience of, but I can see how our speaking of my sister's feelings could have confused you. Whether you too loved her or felt guilt for forgetting her. I apologize, our intention was not to force anything onto you.

Sidon said I sound as if I was grieving. I was still am, in a way. I didn't want to lose my connection with him. Aside from Friend, he's one of the only people where I either don't notice the distant feeling I have with others, or that feeling dissipates altogether with.

Then he said something that if I could, I would have engraved in my heart.

*"... Even when you leave that doesn't mean that this connection will break. You're my incredible friend. You are amazing. We've fought together and I'm seeing a side of you I doubt many others have seen. This bound is unbreakable. Time nor distance is a factor. Even if you forget, this moment right here still happened. This is real. I know I can't take away your pain. You'll probably feel completely alone, and you may be, but I'm here, and should the need arise I'd traverse all of Hyrule to save you. So, please my friend, don't grieve that we'll part, but be joyous in the fact that by miracles we have met. I'll always be by your side even if I'm not physically there, just how you'll be with me even when you go to... wherever you're going next."

It hurt so much, so much so I couldn't help but laugh. I felt so euphoric as the words sank in, I couldn't stop crying. I asked him if he could write down his sentiment so that should I ever forget, I know that there's one person I'm still connected too.

*And I was elated to do so! You are amazing! I even have more to say! So, my second most treasured friend of all time also let me look through his journal and I've seen some inconsistencies that I must rectify!

*I will admit, you don't speak much, and when you do it's normally short terse answers, so at times it hard to know you, however you speak from the heart through action! I've seen it in your eyes. When you heard only part of my people's plight, I could tell you had already made your decision to help! You have an instinct to protect others no matter the cost! Don't you recall how many times you've saved me in battle!? You practically tackled that Lynel just to keep him from shooting in my direction! Or how about when you used yourself as a shield on my behalf and got your arm injured!?

I got hurt protecting you?

*Yes! At the Dueling Peaks when the lightning struck I was blinded for a moment which was enough time for a Lizalfols to sneak up on me, but you dashed in and struck it even though it was obvious you'd get injured in the process! What about in Vah Ruta!? The black mist creature managed to entrap me in that deathly mist. It was about to plunge a spear into me, but you leaped directly into its path and shot it in that accursed blue eye for the first time!

*You will leave because you have an instinct to protect others, it's just one of the many reasons why you're so incredible! But know that you are always welcome to the Domain, not just by me but everyone!

Thank you for being my friend Sidon.

*I thank you too!

So, is this how we talk now? By only writing in my journal.

*Of course not! Though this is quite fun! Perhaps we could figure out a way to send letters to one another while you are on your journey!

I'd love that.