i can't stop remembering...

home.

A/N: btw, there is going to be lots of time jumps in this chapter. alsooo bring the tissues🤧

there is also some touchy subjects throughout this chapter. so don't read it if you're not comfortable. much love.

anddd i'm so sorry i haven't updated this in forever. i've just been crazyyyy busy with work and i've been trying to better my mental health before anything.

hope you all understand:)

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It's been a few weeks since Nick and I and talked to the police about everything that happened with Hardin. They got all the information they needed from us about the whole thing. It definitely wasn't easy to talk about.

I'm still struggling with it all. Most people would think I would be relieved and happy that he killed himself. That's not the case though. Yes, I'm happy that he can't hurt me or my family anymore, but nobody deserves to kill themselves. And nobody deserves to watch someone kill themselves.

I've been there. I have tried to take my own life so many times, so watching someone do it to themselves really takes a toll on you. I'm in therapy again because of it. I didn't want to, but I talked to Nick about it. We thought it was the best option for myself and for everyone around me.

"Addison, I'm leaving!" Nick yells.

I run down the stairs super fast, "Where are you going?"

"To pick our families up," he says. "Do you want to come?"

"Oh," I say. "I forgot that they were all coming over still."

"We can cancel."

"No, we can't," I say. "They are all at the airport waiting for us. We can't just make them go back home."

"We can," he says. "If you aren't comfortable with having a bunch of people here then we can change the date or something. I just thought you remembered they were coming today."

"I don't remember much these days, but it's okay. Go get them. I'm going to take a quick shower."

He frowns, "I love you, ma."

"I love you," I lean up and I kiss his soft lips super fast. "Hurry back."

"I will, ma."

I don't like being without him. After everything that has happened I try to stay with him all the time. He makes me feel safe and he's all I need, so I don't like when he leaves.

He puts on his shoes and walks out the front door. Once he's gone I go back upstairs to get ready for our families to be here.

I don't mind that they are coming, but they are coming at one of the worst moments of life. I'm not very stable and I'm not doing too well. I definitely don't want to be around tons of people.

Depression is kicking my ass.

***

"Mom!" I say trying to sound happy, but I'm really not. Faking my emotions is what I'm best at these days.

"Honey," she says as she wraps her arms around my body. "It's so good to see you!"

"You too," I say. "How was the flight?"

"It was good," she says. "Now where is Ashton at? I want some baby cuddles!"

Our parents haven't met Ashton yet. After everything that has happened we never made time for them to come see him. Our lives have just been so crazy to make plans with family.