i can't stop remembering...

gone

"Ads, wake up!"

I open my eyes to Alex shaking my whole body super fast. I sit up from the chair and I wipe my blurry eyes, "What's wrong?"

"It's Ryan."

"What happened?" I ask.

"He passed," he says quietly.

"What?"

He nods his head, "He died about twenty minutes ago. Something went wrong with his heart."

I sigh, "That's terrible. How's Ashley?"

"Still the same," he says, "She hasn't woke up yet and she has no brain activity."

"Did they say when she would wake up?"

"They have no idea," he says. "It could be days or weeks or even years."

I shake my head, "That's just stupid."

"I agree," he says. Lexi walks around the corner and he looks back at her, "I'll be back later."

"Okay," I say.

He walks over to Lexi and leaves me in the waiting room alone again. The only people I have here are Alex and Lexi. My parents hate me and I don't have much more family around.

My phone starts ringing once again. I swear Nick has called me three hundred times already. I never answer him though. I guess it's about time I do though.

"Hey," I say.

"Addison! It's about time. I've been so worried," he says, "What's going on?"

I take a deep breathe, "Ashley and Ryan got in a very bad accident. Ryan didn't make it and Ashley is basically in a coma now."

"Oh my gosh," he says, "I'm coming out there."

"No, Nick. It's okay. I'm okay," I say. "I don't need you to come out here for me. You are supposed to hate me anyways."

"You know I could never hate you."

"Just stay home, Nick," I state.

"Addison, no."

"Bye, Nick," I whisper.

"Addison!" He yells but I cut him off by hanging up the phone.

I'm not going to lie, I do want him here. But part of me believes that I need to do this alone for now. I don't want to be with anyone and I don't want him to have to come. It just makes me feel more like a burden.

I stand up from my chair and I start to walk down the hall to Ashley's room. As I get closer to the end of the hall I see tons of doctors running in and out. My parents are outside the room and my mom is screaming into my dad's arms.

I immediately start to run to the end of the hallway to where everything is happening. I stop in front of her room and I see all the doctors move away from her body as the machine beeps.

My mom screams even louder and the tears start to roll down my face as I look at her lying there. The doctors start to put shit away, but I can't take my eyes off of her. The only thing I can think about is her.

I can't take my eyes off of my dead sister.

***

I never thought I would have to feel this type of pain. I never thought I would be sitting at my parents house because my sister is dead. Because my best friend is dead.