i can't stop remembering...

decisions

I couldn't sleep last night because the only thing on my mind was Nick's offer to join the gang with them. I think it would be so much fun, but at the same time I don't want to risk anything. It's so illegal and so dangerous. I'm not even in the gang and I've already been a target to the other gangs. I really want to because it would be a blast and I would meet so many new people. I just don't know what to think.

My test is today and I'm freaking out about it. I studied only a little bit yesterday because I slept most of the day. Nick checked on me almost every hour and he got me Chick-fil-a, so I wasn't complaining. He also helped me study a little bit.

I grab my shoes and I put them on. Today I'm being super lazy because my head still hurts and I feel like ass. I have on grey sweatpants and a dark blue sweatshirt. I grab my bag and I walk out of my room.

Nick is in the kitchen making food. I set my bag down on the island, "Good morning."

He jumps a bit and then turns around to look at me. I laugh and he playfully rolls his eyes. "Good morning. How are you feeling today?"

"Still not the best." I sit down on the island chair and I rest my head on my hand. I could definitely fall asleep right now.

He sets a water and the ibuprofen bottle next to me. I take the bottle and I smile, "Thanks."

"Yup," he says while going back to making his eggs. "Are you nervous?"

"Very," I say. "I'm terrified I'm going to fail. What if I fail?"

"Then you get to retake it," he says very calmly. I'm glad he is calm because I'm not. I'm like a bomb that could explode in three seconds. "You won't fail though. I have faith in you."

"Thank you," I say. He sets a plate of eggs and bacon down in front of me and then grabs his plate. He sits down next to me and we start to eat. "Thank you for the food."

"Of course," he says.

"Do you have any classes today?"

"Unfortunately, yes. I'll be there all day long," he says. "How about you? Do you have anything after the test?"

"No," I say. "I'm going to go look for a job after the test. I really need one."

"Where are you going to work? Do you have any ideas?" He asks.

I shove a piece of bacon in my mouth, "I have no clue. Do you have any suggestions?"

"The mall pays really good," he says. "Or any ice cream shop around. For some reason they pay really good."

"Okay," I say. "Thank you."

"Mhm," he takes a bite of his egg and I eat more of my bacon. You know, I never really asked him where he works. He never talks about it. Like ever.

"Do you even have a job?" I ask. "Or is the gang where you get your money?"

He chuckles, "I was waiting for you to ask me that one. I get my money from the gang. Edwin, Rose, Zion, and I are practically the leaders of the gang, so we get majority of pay. Everyone else gets paid a lot too, but we just get more."

"Does it pay good?" I ask.

"It does," he says. "Well unless you are stupid as hell and you are always owing people money."

"Are you one of those people?"

"Nope," he says. "I've only had to pay people twice because I tend to stay out of things."

"Who and why do you owe this time?"

"His name is Brandon," he says. "He is part of the gang that we don't get along with. They are called "The snakes." I owe him money because I wouldn't sell him drugs he wanted. I don't do the whole drugs shit."