One Chicago: Health First Part 4

Chapter 1273

"Is it wrong to say that I don't feel ready?"

Jay's POV: When those words left my mouth, I felt ashamed. I mean, I've been trying my best to learn everything I can and I wanted to feel ready to be a dad so much...yet, I was scared out of my mind because of all the unknowns. Hasn't helped much with the year we've had. Everything was always up in the air. That meant that we never knew really what was happening and what we had to deal with on a daily basis. I just hoped that Will could tell me that it was okay to feel that way about me becoming a father in 2 months.

Will just looked at me and knew that I was feeling guilty. "Man, don't feel guilty about that okay? Honestly, I'm not even ready to be a dad yet. Sure, you may think it's going to be easy for me considering we have Owen right now. But, you have to remember that we are both going to be experiencing this together. Sure, I've helped women give birth. But, it's different when it's your wife. I've never dealt with a newborn, changed a diaper or fed a newborn. We are both going to be on a learning curve when it comes to raising kids."

I nodded and looked at him when he said that. "I guess you're right but...I just feel like everything is riding on this. What if I screw up and Erin doesn't want more kids? I want to have at least one more eventually to carry on the Halstead name. I mean don't get me wrong...Owen is going to do that. But, I mean the Halstead name alone instead of Manning-Halstead." Will nodded and understood. "Yeah, I get it. It's actually why we are merged our names. I didn't want Owen to feel left out. Having his sibling and parents be Halsteads while he's a Manning?"

I then turned to look at him and started to understand why he took Manning. "God, I didn't even think about it that way." Will nodded and smiled at me. "Yeah, it's true when I originally said that I wanted to honor Jeff and show him respect but...it's also because I wanted Owen to feel like he really was my son when I adopted him. Yet, I didn't want him to loose a part of his father. I was worried about that and it just made it easier for me. Then, we don't have to explain that I'm his dad when we have different last names." I nodded and smiled at him.

Will then started to feel somebody walk up behind him. Turning around to look at Nat, he smiled as he wrapped his arm around her. "Hey, I didn't hear you come out." Nat then smiled at him. "You guys looked like you were deep in conversation." Will nodded and agreed. "About a lot of things. I am just glad that he's getting the help he needs from good old Lucky here." I smiled when he said that and nodded. "And speaking about why you chose to do Manning-Halstead?" Will then nodded. "That's the real reason. Owen is our son and I wanted him to know that."

Natalie smiled as she went to kiss Will when she looked at me. "Listen, the foods ready inside if you boys want to eat. How about you both come in and we can all sit out here after. I am positive that Lucky will want to run around again if she doesn't want to sleep." I agreed and nodded. "Just curious, where's Erin?" Nat then smiled. "She ended up falling asleep on the couch while I made lunch.": I nodded and smiled. "Then let me go wake her up." Natalie nodded and agreed. "Want me to bring Lucky in for you?"

I shook my head when she asked. "No, it's too easy." I then turned to look at Lucky. "Lucky, here girl." Lucky then walked over and looked at me. I then went to put her leach on before getting her to relax. "Calm. Play time is over." Lucky then got up and started to walk inside with me so that we could go wake Erin up from her nap.