Innocence

Chapter 92

TIME JUMP: 3 WEEKS

CAMILLA'S POV

It's been 3 weeks. 3 three weeks since I decided to ask Nathan for my memories back. I spent the 1st week in fear. Fear of him, fear of what Harry would think, fear of everything. I spent the second week overthinking. I thought about everything. Everything Nathan would do. What he wouldn't do. Who would know, how people would react. I thought about it all. By the end of the third week, I had a plan in motion. It was insane on a multitude of levels, but it was happening. There's no stopping it.

I wrote a letter to Nathan and left it at his desk. By the end of the day, I received a letter back.

Camilla,

If you want to talk, you will meet Blaise outside the Slytherin dorms after dinner.

He'll escort you so I know this isn't a trap.

I sat at dinner and didn't talk. I tried to talk. I tried to eat. I tried to look normal, but I was scared. And god damn it, Harry knows me too well. "What's wrong?" Harry whispered. "Nothing," I replied. "Your leg is bouncing up and down and you haven't touched your food or said a word," he said. I sighed. "Just thinking." I said. He nodded suspiciously. "If you needed me, you would tell me, right?" he asked. I nodded. He gave me a nod in return and we turned back to our friends. Then dinner finished and I was terrified. But I had to do it. I need my memory back.

"Where are you going?" Seamus asked. "I have to go meet Snape." I lied. "I'm supposed to stay with you until Ginny takes over," he replied. "It'll be fine. His classroom is just around the corner." I said. He sighed and looked down and back. "Ok, I guess you're right. But you'll go straight back to Gryffindor after?" he asked. "Yes." I said. He nodded and left. Then I went to Slytherin.

Blaise was standing outside their portrait with a grin on his face. I walked up to him and he laughed. "Did you really miss me that much?" he asked. "What?" I said. "Back for seconds?" he asked. I was confused. "What do you mean?" I said. He tutted and shook his head. "Damn, your memory really is shot. It hurts that you don't remember our... special night together." he said. My face fell. "I hope your brother allows it again." he said as he opened their portrait. This idea felt even worse now. But I had to do it. I was doing this for Harry. He loves me. If I get my memories back, I'll remember if I loved him. He deserves to know. And so do I.

We walked through the common room and up to the boys' dorms. Blaise knocked on his door and Nathan opened it. "So it really wasn't a trap, huh?" he said. "We need to talk." I said. "I reckon you aren't smart enough to figure anything sophisticated enough to trap me anyway." he said smugly. Blaise laughed. "Nathan, please." I said. He rolled his eyes. "Come in," he said. I walked in and he started to shut the door. "Stay outside, Blaise. I'll let you know if you're needed." Blaise nodded and stood outside the door. Nathan shut it and locked it and turned around. My heart was beating out of my chest but I faced him. I cleared my throat and spoke.

"I need my memories back." I said. He burst out laughing. "Even if I wanted to, which I don't. What makes you think I can?" he said. "Because you did it before. You showed me my memories so I would know who my real father is." I said. He groaned. "That was simple legilimency. You want me to undo months of magically induced psychological conditioning. I reckon father can't even do that." he said. "Father wouldn't do anything that can't be undone. You and I both know he's too smart for that." I said. He grinned at me. "Maybe you remember more than you think..." he said. " I don't." I said. "Why now? Why are you so eager for your memories to come back?" he asked. I looked down. "You can tell me or I can dig it out of your head. But after all the damage done to your mind, that might just kill you." he said. I glared at him. "For Harry." I said quietly. He scoffed. "Of course, I should have guessed it would come back to him somehow. Why does he need your memories?" he asked. "He doesn't. It's not my memories he needs. He remembers. I don't." I said. "Get to the point faster, I don't have all day." he snapped.

"I need to know if I love him or not." I said. The second I spoke I regretted it. I could tell by the look on his face that I was going to regret this whole idea. "Potter? You love Potter?" he shouted. I stumbled back and tripped over his trunk. My back hit the floor and he towered over me. "I don't know!" I said. "First, you betray our family and now you want to fuck our enemy!" he screamed. His rage shook the room. "I'm sorry!" I cried out. He grabbed my neck and pulled me up. He tossed me in the chair and within seconds, my wrists were bound behind my back and my feet were bound to the legs off the chairs. "You want memories? Fine. I'll give you memories. I'll give you the memories of all the guys you've fucked so far. Then at least Potter will know he's getting damaged goods!" he shouted. "Nathan, wait!" I exclaimed. "Legilimens"

"Get off me!" "Nathan, help" "Please, stop!" "Teach her a lesson" "Since I was fourteen" "Stop, it hurts" "You were forced" "Stop!" "Camilla, it's not your fault" "You bitch!" "She's just a child" "He wouldn't want you to do this" "Do you want to do this the easy way or the hard way?" "Draco, stop." "This isn't you!" "Help me!" "Teach her a lesson" "Roses" "Teach her a lesson"  "Sunflowers" "Teach her a lesson" "Daisies" "I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you." "Teach. Her. A. Lesson." "I'm so scared"

Then he stopped and stepped back with a grin. "Those are your memories, unaltered, unchanged. You still think you want your mind back?" he said.