Today is the day I leave Hogwarts for the last time. I don't know if I'll ever be back. But that doesn't matter. Right now, all that matters is the war. And finding the rest of the horcruxes. And Camilla.
She hasn't left her room in days. Ever since she got back. She has just been laying in her bed, holding Draco's black blazer. She doesn't eat, she rarely sleeps, she just lays there. I don't know what to do. I think I just have to give her time. First she lost Cedric, now Draco, I can't imagine how she feels. I hated Draco for everything he did but I never wanted him to die. I wouldn't wish that on him because I know how much he meant to Camilla. Even after he did what he did to her, she still wanted to help and protect him. But now he's gone too.
"Harry-" someone said. I was packing my trunk when someone knocked on my door. I walked over and opened it and it was Dean. He had this look on his face and I knew something was wrong. "Is everything ok?" I asked. "I'm not sure. Ginny and Hermione went to Hogsmeade to pick something up so Ginny asked me to bring Camilla lunch. But the door was locked-" he said. "Maybe she was sleeping?" I said. He shook his head. "I went in and she was just sitting on the bed holding a letter and crying. I tried to talk to her but it's like she was completely in her own world. I got worried." he said. I nodded. "Thanks Dean, I'll go see her." I said. Then I left. When I got to her dorm, I knocked and went in. She was still sitting there and holding the letter. "Cam-" I said softly as I walked closer. I knelt down in front of her and reached forward. I placed my hand over hers and she looked up. "What is that?" I asked. She shook her head. "Cam, please say something," I said. Tears fell to her cheeks and she handed me the letter.
Dear Camilla, I know you are confused but most of all, I know you are angry. I never wanted to do that and I never wanted you to see it. But I need you to understand. Please let me explain. Come alone. S.S.
My stomach sank. "S.S" I said quietly. "Severus Snape-" she said. Her voice was so quiet, barely above a whisper. I looked at her and handed back the letter. "It came with this," she said and she showed me a box with a small silver hand mirror. "A portkey?" I asked. She nodded. "You don't need it." I said. "What do you mean? Why?" she asked. "You aren't going." I said as I stood up. She stood too. "Yes, I am. I want an explanation. Snape wouldn't murder Dumbledore unless he-" she started. "No!" I yelled. She flinched and stepped back quickly. "Cam, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout." I said. She glared at me. "I'm going." she said. "I said no. I know why Snape killed Dumbledore. Because Voldemort ordered him too. He knew Malfoy wouldn't do it so he ordered Snape to. Because he's a death eater. Once you take the mark, you can never change!" I said sharply. Her face dropped. Shit. Her eyes filled with tears and wandered down to her arm. Through her sleeve, I could see the mark. Of all the marks and scars and burns and marks of torture on her body, I know that one haunts her the most. Fuck, I shouldn't have said that. She just looked at me. "Cam, that's not what I meant. You're different- you didn't want- you aren't-" I stammered. "What? Huh?" she yelled. I stopped. "I'm different? Am I really?" she said. "Of course you are." I said. "Really? Because I set you up in the triwizard tournament, I got Cedric killed, I couldn't figure out my fathers plan and Sirius died because of it, then I was the reason the Weasleys house burned down, and I was so worried about protecting Draco that Katie Bell was cursed and almost died, Ron almost died of poisoning, and Dumbledore died! And now- now Draco is dead because of me too! So am I really different, Harry? Or am I just another pawn in my fathers game to cause death and destruction?" she yelled. My eyes turned glassy and I saw the pain and fear in her eyes. "None of that was your fault," I said quietly. "You're wrong! All of it was my fault." she said. "You are nothing like them. You are not a bad person." I said. She shook her head. "Maybe not, but I'm not good either." she said. "Camilla, that's not true and you know it." I said. "If I was a good person, I would have let Nathan kill me years ago and saved all of you a whole lot of suffering." she said. Then she pulled on Draco's blazer & grabbed the mirror. "Cam don't-" I said. She looked at me and she was gone.
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