This time, I'm serious

Mostly the truth

Bruno arrived at the door to the hideaway, feeling significantly more relaxed than he had the last time he encountered Valentina.

He turned the handle, knocking lightly on the door

" Knock knock?"

"Hi, Bruno, come on in!"

His face fell a little.

Valentina saw his disappointed look. "Oh! Wait! I mean... Who's there?"

He beamed at her. "Tanky"

Valentina chuckled. "Tanky who?"

"No, Valentina, Tanky ou for inviting me on this date"

She groaned. "I immediately regret asking you out"

"Oh good, that means it's going the same way as every other date I've been on!"

She laughed, and poured him a glass of wine. "Cheers"

He took the glass and clinked it against hers. "So how was your date with Will?"

"Um, fine, I guess? He seemed like a sweet guy. Very spacey though."

"So your date was out of this world?"

She laughed "That was so lame"

"Hey! You invite a stand-up comedian on a date, this is what you get. I'm glad you're enjoying yourself"

She grinned at him. "So" she started

"A needle pulling thread" he responded

She rolled her eyes. "How are you and Jas?" She asked

"Oh!" Bruno was surprised. "We're really good, actually. She's an incredible girl. She's so amazing. She's just so damn funny, and she thinks I'm funny, which is a plus"

" I think you're funny, too, Bruno"

"Oh yeah?" He grinned at her

"Yeah" she took a sip from her glass, licking her lips. "And I'm not exactly the kind of person who minds stepping on toes to get what I want, either."

He swallowed, hard.

"I've seen everything on TV. You belong in the spotlight, babe. You're extraordinary ."

Her eyes travelled up and down his body, lingering briefly on his crotch. He felt himself blush a little. Was she hitting on him? Something about the way she emphasised the last line made Bruno feel a bit odd. He was usually oblivious to this kind of stuff, but she was coming on really strong.

Bruno had never had this much attention from women, like, ever . The women he'd dated and slept with had pretty much always treated him like a bit of a convenience. No one ever usually wanted him for anything more serious than a weekend. And now, in the space of a week, he'd landed the absolute hottest girl he'd ever seen, somehow tricked her into liking him , and now damn near the second hottest girl he'd ever seen was cracking on? And the first hottest girl was insecure about losing him to the second hottest girl.

What was this place? Who were these women? Did they have eyes? He suddenly felt very suspicious that the whole of Love Island was just some kind of big prank on Bruno.

"Um, thanks! So, we already know we have offices in common... Oh, did you hear the one about the secretary and the postage stamps?"

Bruno launched into a long, office-themed stand-up routine, Valentina hooked on his every word. She laughed outrageously at every pause, smiling at him, nodding along, giving him her absolutely undivided attention. Bruno found himself feeling more and more confident, feeding off Valentina's clear enjoyment of his jokes. He couldn't help but feel a little flattered at the attention.