This time, I'm serious

I can do that

Jas walked into the bedroom after her shower, surprised to find the lights still on and most people still awake. She tried not to look over at her old bed. She looked around the room and found her new one, and cursed silently when she noticed it was at the furthest end from Bruno.

She frowned, quietly kicking herself for not coming up to the bedroom earlier and trading beds with Angie. That way, she could have at least faced Bruno in the next bed while she slept. If they'd been sneaky, they could have shuffled the beds a little closer each day so that they'd be close enough to hold hands. It would have been something at least. Idiot . That would have been perfect.

Jas wondered how suspicious it would be if Angie decided she hated her bed tomorrow night.

Tom was already in bed, waving at her. She averted her eyes, accidentally looking directly at Cora and Bruno.

Seeing Bruno in bed with Cora hurt. It hurt badly. It was even worse than she'd imagined.

She wondered if he'd be cuddling with her. She kicked herself for not talking to him about what boundaries they expected. She wondered if Cora would wake up tomorrow, wrapped in Bruno's strong arms, smelling his cocoa body butter, mixed with his aftershave and deodorant, and the intoxicating smell it gave him in the morning. She'd give anything to sleep with him just one more night.

She walked over and slipped in next to Tom, but sat, crossing her arms and resting them on her knees, resting her chin on her arms. She looked sadly over at Bruno, who was doing exactly the same. He gave her a small, sad wave. She waved back, and they just sadly looked at each other across the room, as if they were holding each other in their eyes. Cora finished her conversation with Thabi and lay down next to him. He looked down at her, sighed, and shuffled down, but not before longingly glancing over at Jas one last time. She lay down next to Tom, feeling thoroughly shitty. She lay on her side, facing him.

It felt wrong.

Tom smiled weakly at her. She frowned.

"This is weird".

Tom's face fell.

"I understand. You and Bruno were together for ages. I... don't have a lot of experience with this stuff. But I'll do whatever I can to make you feel safe sharing a bed with me."

Jas couldn't help but feel a pang of emotion. That was such a Bruno thing to say.

"Tom... that's... that's really lovely. And very thoughtful of you to say. Thank you."

He smiled at her. "Hey. Yeah, I've been told it occasionally happens. But I should warn you, I have won awards for my cuddling?"

Jas shot him a disbelieving look.

"It's true! A girl made me a medal out of a yoghurt lid. It was cute."

She giggled a little. "Okay. That is pretty cute. But maybe we leave the cuddles for tonight. I'm... feeling pretty raw about everything."

The lights went out.

Tom shuffled a little closer.

"Can I tell you why I chose you at the recoupling?"

"I thought you already did?"

"Yeah, but that was in front of everyone."

Jas didn't say anything, just waited.

"I've always kind of had this feeling like I'm not the person I'm supposed to be. Like I'm a disappointment. But... I don't feel that way around you. I just feel safe. Like I can be myself. I'm so grateful for that feeling. I've never had it before. I just want to feel like that all the time.