This time, I'm serious

Dear god, it's me, Bruno

Despite his best efforts, he hadn't been able to talk to Jas all afternoon. He thought he'd heard her laughing briefly as he sat in the air conditioning in the villa, but he hadn't spotted her once. Giving up, he'd resorted to lounging in the sun for the entire afternoon.

If she liked him, she liked him. She was pretty much his only hope anyway. He thought around the other couples.

Lexi would pick Kobi, that was for sure. He'd figured out within a few seconds of entering the villa that Thabi was majorly infatuated with Will. Najuma... was a wildcard. He assumed she wouldn't make up her mind until the last second anyway, so no point in guessing. She'd toss-up between Youcef and Hazeem. So it only left Angie and Jas. Angie would probably stick with James, they seemed like good mates. He could see himself making a go of it with Angie if she picked him. It would only be fair to see how things played out. She seemed like a nice enough girl, she laughed at most of his jokes.

But with Jas, it was just... something else. He'd never had a crush on someone on TV before, but as soon as he saw her he felt jittery. When he'd seen the original cast, he assumed he'd pick Lexi or Angie to meet him. But then she came in, and... phwoar . The way she moved. How cool she was. How effortlessly she captured the attention of the room. The only problem was the order. Realistically, she could pick anyone she wanted, and they'd be thrilled. Except for Kobi. But Kobi was an idiot . Although, he was also probably the best looking. Except for Will. And Hazeem. And Youcef. And probably also James. Bruno cringed as he realized he was probably dead last. He remembered what Tim from Season 1 had said. "Everyone here's used to being an eight, in a room full of sixes. But here, everyone's an eight".

God, except Jas. She was an eleven. A fifty-eight. A six-hundred-and-twelve out of ten. He knew he'd never have a shot with her in real life, in the outside world. He never would have had the courage to walk up to her at a bar.

He thought about how odd it would have been if someone dragged a group of women from a random bar in front of him, and said 'Hey! Which one of these incredibly sexy, single women do you want to hang out with in a hot tub?' and he'd just point, and the woman would be contractually obliged to agree. It seemed a little odd. He wondered how he'd feel if someone picked him for a date. Or a recoupling. He imagined he'd be chuffed. Surely it had to happen at some point... unless he went home today.

God, how humiliating. Not being picked at all. It was like school all over again. He remembered how small and scrawny he'd been, and how embarrassed he'd been to always, always be picked last. But his Nonna's advice always came in handy.

' Laugh it off, Bruno. No one likes a crybaby' .

His sisters would never let him forget it if he came all the way to Love Island, and got sent home the next day .

Great. Now he couldn't sunbathe happily. He could only sunbathe stressedly. Stressily? Stressed-ly? He decided he may as well go and get ready for the recoupling.

He entered the bedroom, and immediately noticed the other guys standing in a group at the end of the room, looking thoroughly confused.

"Bruno, mate" Hazeem called. "Something weird's going on."

He walked over, slotting in between Hazeem and Kobi, and feeling thoroughly skinny. "What's up?"

"None of us can find our clothes."

******

"Speak of the devil" he heard Angie's voice, as he knocked on the girls' change room door.

He entered, eyes squeezed shut. "Can I open my eyes, or should I continue pretending I don't want to?"