This time, I'm serious

Something he's proud of

Bruno's heart was just numb. Just completely numb. He felt like he was going to throw up. How? How had he not seen it? Of course, he wasn't good enough for her.

He trudged up the stairs, towards the only place he knew to retreat to.

Kobi caught him halfway up the stairs, smiling to greet him, before seeing the state he was in and silently going ahead of him to make sure no one got between Bruno and his quite obvious destination..

As he pressed the bathroom door open, he turned to Kobi.

"Keep her away from me. Please."

He stepped in, finding it miraculously empty, grabbed a towel, and immediately turned the shower water to as hot as it would go.

Fucking g'wed, burn me, dumb fucking gobshite shower. I fuckin' dare yeh.

He heard Kobi corralling someone behind him.

"Jas, no. You can't go in."

"Kobi, get the fuck out of my way. I need to talk to him."

She sounded pissed off, but she was obviously crying.

"Jas, he specifically told me not to let you in. He doesn't want to talk to you. That's his choice. Leave him alone."

He heard their voices getting further away and he just made out the end of Kobi's sentence.

"... he looked fucking broken, Jas. What the fuck did you do?"

God, he was appreciative of Kobi. He was a good, good friend. One of the best friends Bruno had ever had. Even after the bullshit that night with Juliet, and what a shitty position it put him in, he was still on team Bruno & Jas.

Not that there was one, anymore. It was done. They were over.

And like so many times before, the shower gave him the space he needed. The numbness he felt at the situation faded, and the emotion finally came. They were over .

He felt the lump in his throat, the familiar pain of humiliation completely strangling him. He felt his face crumple, letting the heavy breathing fade into the loud static of the shower around him. The tears were completely invisible. He knew they were there. But this way, only he knew how many there were.

He'd been straight up ready to walk out with her if she left. He'd completely opened himself up to her. He'd been planning out their future in his head. He'd given her every part of him. He'd promised himself before he came in that, if he really liked a girl, he would open up to her. Just go for it. It was one of the only things his sisters had begged him to do.

They were awful to him 99% of the time. He was awful back. It's what siblings do. But they'd sat him down and begged him.

'If you let a girl in, she'll love you as much as we do. All you have to do is let her in '

Well, they were wrong.

He's let Jas in. He'd flung open every door and window to his heart.

And she didn't want him.

He dropped his head, placing his palm flat against the shower wall. He felt like a kid again, hiding in the shower, silently letting the tears fall as he wondered whether he'd ever get out of it again. It felt like the whole universe was crushing him, wrapping itself around him, pulling him into himself. He just wanted the earth to swallow him. Anything to distract him from how this felt.

But it never came.

Eventually, his emotion had drained out of him so much that he could turn the water off.

Off in the distance, he heard someone yelling.

"I got a text!" they yelled.

He sighed. He looked around for a camera in the bathroom, wondering how the producers always knew exactly when to fuck with them.

What was it going to be now?

More islanders? Surprise immediate recoupling? Wouldn't that be a fucking laugh? He'd get to sit there while Jas and Tom finally got to be open about how much they liked each other, and how lucky they were to have found each other. He just wanted to go the fuck home. There was nothing here for him anymore.

He dried himself off. Maybe he should? It wasn't like there was any point in staying. It wasn't like he was going to be able to fall for someone else while watching Tom & Jas getting all cutesy right in front of his face. He'd go find out what the fuck the text was about, and then make up his mind. He pulled on some comfortable clothes, slowly thumping down the stairs.

He ran a hand through his hair as he got to the bottom, and noticed Cora, Thabi, Valentina, and Najuma staring at him.

They were staring at him with their mouths open a little.

Cora raised her eyebrows at him.

"Bruno, you're killing it, babe."

"What?"

"The grey sweatpants, white t-shirt, still-wet-hair-fresh-out-the-shower vibe... you look fucking hot right now!"

He just looked at them, feeling a bit weird. "Um... thanks."

Usually, he'd be chuffed. Usually, he'd go bright red. But he was just... numb. Empty. Just completely devoid of any emotion whatsoever.

As if sensing it from across the room, Cora came over and wrapped her arm around his waist. She stepped up on her tiptoes and whispered into his ear. "Are you okay? Did something happen?"

Before he could respond, Will wandered in from somewhere. "Did someone say they got a text?"

Najuma held up her phone "Yeah! Me!"

The other islanders filtered in, slowly.

He wasn't sure if people could tell he'd been crying, but if they did, they said nothing. Angie wandered in, going a little rigid when she saw him. He avoided her gaze, not wanting to see if Jas was walking in behind her. Kobi walked in, immediately spotting him and coming to stand next to him.

"Everyone here?" Najuma asked, clearly looking around for Jas.

"Just read it," Angie said. "I'll relay it"

Islanders, tomorrow night there will be a girls' choice recoupling.

"That's all it says?" Juliet asked

Najuma nodded. "No hashtags or anything."

"So a boy's going home?" Thabi asked.

"Probably. We haven't lost anyone in ages" Valentina said.

"Maybe two boys, if two girls pick each other," Angie said.

Everyone gasped, turning and looking at her.

Bruno just shrugged and walked out to the daybeds.

He may as well stay, then. If he left now, they'd probably still go ahead with the recoupling. If he stayed, he could throw himself on the grenade, so to speak. He'd just tell everyone he was planning to leave anyway, so that they could send him home, making sure that everyone else stayed for another little while.

This way, at least, after all the humiliation, being so publicly shamed and rejected, he'd get to leave doing something he was proud of.