My Lifeline

chapter 34

NOOR

We just arrived home and the driver dropped us at the front door before he went to park the car.
We were about to go inside when Habeeb came out in a hurry with his car keys in his hand, he stopped on his track upon seeing us.

"Oh sis you are back?! I was just about to go to the hospital" he says sounding worried.
"Are you okay?"

I nodded forcing a small smile on my face "I'm fine thanks"

"No you don't look fine at all. you are all red and there are this rashes on your face, they shouldn't have discharged you yet, how could they be so irresponsible?" He catch ahold of my wrist.
"Let's go back to the hospital, they should make sure you are completely healed before they discharge you"

I snatched my hand from his grip. Even though i know Habeeb cared so much but I'm not ready to get lectured this moment especially after Kaleem announced to me that he's marrying that Hudah of a thing. I'm more than terrified but i have no reason to express it.

"I insisted that they should discharge me, I'm fine really. I just need some rest"

"Ok go and rest, but call me when you need anything okay?"

I nodded "okay"

"Don't forget to call me anytime"

"I won't, bye" i hurried inside before he could say anything more.

I met Lailah on the stairs and just wave at her but didn't stop until i reached my bedroom. I didn't mind to shut the door behind me because i know Husnah is coming in.

I threw myself on the bed and burst out crying. I didn't know when i started liking him, i didn't realize that he was the reason why i keep rejecting Yusuf, worst of all is i don't know that i LOVE HIM SO MUCH to feel my heart shattering into pieces when he choose someone over me.
I can't handle the pain.
I really can't.

I quickly wipe off my tears when i felt husnah's hand running on my back.

"Noor, are you crying? what happened?"

"Nothing, I'm just feeling a slight pain in my stomach"

"You will never cry because of a slight pain, i know it must be severe" she stood up dragging me by my arm " let's call Habeeb and go back to the hospital"

I manage to put a smile on my face ignoring the misery my earlier conversation with Kaleem has put me in.
"I'm fine Husnah, the pain is gone"

She looked straight into my eyes frowning "hey Noor, tell me what's wrong. Even if you are not ready to share it you must tell me because I believe I'm the only person who's ready to listen to you"

I broke down crying again "Husnah, i regret it. I regret not listening to you, i regret being greedy, i regret coming to this house, i regret knowing him, i regret everything!."

"You love Kaleem don't you?"

I gave her a 'how did you know' look, but she doesn't seemed surprised.

"I knew about it all along, you acted obvious like you did when you started developing feelings for Yusuf. i just kept quiet to see where your fantasy illusion will stop"

"He's planning to get married to another woman" i confess softly.

"That's not quite surprising, because I know something like that is bound to happen"

"What are you saying Husnah?! if he get married to her it means he's no longer mine"

"He was never yours in the first place. You see you two are like a star and a boy, the star always shines on the boy and the boy admires the star but the star is so high in the sky that the boy can never reach it even if he wanted to, and if he tries doing so he'll only end up getting hurt"

She held my hand in her's
"You are the boy Noor and Kaleem is the star. No matter how much you love him you can never get him because you are not of the same status and he's higher beyond your reach.
He might be your brother on paper, but you are not the same as anyone in this family always remember that. The world might think you are just using him for his riches."

"But I'm not" i snipped.

"They won't trust that, to them you will just be a gold digger"

I stood up abruptly and wear my slipper heading for the door "I don't care what the world thinks, i just want Kaleem and I'm going to tell him not to marry Hudah, I'll tell him that I love him and he should marry me instead"

"He doesn't love you back Noor" Husnah stopped me by dragging my arm. "Kaleem have no feelings for you, he just cared that's all! Confessing your feelings to him will just put you in greater misery. So please don't!!"

I got down in my knees sobbing, feeling the bile in my throat rising and my heart burning.
"Why? Why must i fall in love in this situation? Why yah Kaleem of all people? Why do i have a change of heart? Why must i stop loving Yusuf!? Are you being just to me...my heart?" I speak between sobs.

Husnah also got down on her knees snd drags me into a hug.

"Everything will be alright, it shall all pass. The unrequited love you have will slowly fades and you will stop hurting"

"I hope so" i Said hugging her tighter.

And it happened, time passes, season changes, but nothing happened to my unrequited painful love, even though i tried to act though; i still attend Kaleem's painting class. I tried to act oblivious; i still acted the stupid 'me' he knew, the 'me' who doesn't take hints, the 'me' who's slow witted, and the 'me' who's always reckless, stubborn, and silly.
But for 6 months, nothing changed. I grew more and more in love with kaleemullah, and he still cared the same, he scold and call me an idiot. But he's still the Kaleem i wanted, the Kaleem i need.

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Much love ❤️
Ummu Najma 🥰