My Lifeline

chapter 39

NOOR

They don't even care how i feel, they didn't bother asking me wether i want to be married to yah Kaleem or not. Mother wants to stop the marriage for his safety and Innah is allowing the marriage for his happiness.

They all don't care about you.

My subconscious thought as i turned to leave the room without saying anything further.

I went back to my room and started packing my stuff, I'm surely leaving this house today. I'm fed up with how I'm being treated, like some sort of different kind of virus.

"What are you doing Noor?" Asked Husnah when she entered the room, seeing my whole wardrobe on the bed while i try packing everything in the medium size luggage.

"Come and help me pack, we are living"

She came close and held my hand, "why do you always make decisions in haste Noor? While you are sure that you will regret your actions why don't you sit and cool down a bit then you can think of what to do later"

I stopped what I'm doing and raised my head to look at her "By that time it'll be late cause I'll probably be already married to their son"

"Don't you love him?"

"I do but he doesn't love me back! You said that yourself, I'm just a pawn in his game Husnah. So I'm just leaving I'm not ready to be used"

Her expression suddenly changed upon hearing that and she got furious.
"So that bastard is trying to use you?" She yelled.

I quickly put a hand over her mouth so that she will not be heard. anxiously checking if there's anyone by the open door.

"Don't call him that, that's not what I meant"

"Then what?"

I sighed and told her everything, then added "i just can't get myself to believe that yah Kaleem is doing all this things just like that without asking for anything in return. What if he's planning something? What if he's trying to destroy me?"

She exhaled "do you think leaving is the best solution?"

I swallowed before nodding slowly. I want to do this, i want to stay, but I can't risk it! My life and my *deen(religion) are all i have now.

"Then let's leave" she agrees and starts helping me pack.

We pack all the necessities and headed downstairs.

They are now gathered in the living room including father and he's discussing something with Innah, i bet it's about the marriage.
They were all bewildered upon seeing me dragging my luggage.

"Where are you going Noor?" Asked yah Kaleem.

I looked around to find him standing behind Innah's seat, leaning against the headrest. I forced a smile on my face and released the luggage then walked to him and gave out my car keys and credit card.

"You gave me these and they've been of so much help. But I'm returning them to you now because I don't need them anymore" i said and he looked as confused as ever.

"You are leaving?"

I nodded and put down the card and the keys, then walked back to where my luggage was standing and got down on my knees.

"I know you will all be disappointed in me and I'm sorry. It took a lot to be part of you but I'm tired of trying so I'm going back to where i belong. Thanks so much for taking care of me for more than a year, it really means a lot to me" tears fall from my eyes as i finished.
No matter how toxic they might be, I'm already used to living with them.

"If you're leaving because of what I've said then I'm sorry, you should stay back" Innah surprised all of us by saying.

I quickly shook my head "no it's not because of you Innah, you did nothing wrong" i told her. Nobody among them knows the reason I'm leaving now but it's not because of them, it's because of him!. I can stand what they are all doing to me and endure it for a lifetime but i can't stand him or endure it for a minute.

"Then is it because of me?" Habeeb asked "I'm also sorry"

I shook my head "it's not because of you either, I'm just leaving on my own accord"

Khaleel stepped forward. "No you can't leave please Noor, you saved me from dying and we have a running contract"

"Tear it, and act like it never existed please. Just stay healthy medium brother" i rushed out of the house as I can't hold back my tears, many people were already crying by the time i left, Lailah especially. She has her face in her hands crying her eyes out.

"Stop her please yah Khaleel, don't allow her to leave else I won't ever forgive myself" she pleaded but neither he nor Kaleem moves an inch.

........

I feel bad when Kaleem didn't come after me, it's not like I'm changing my decision but i thought atleast he will try to stop me, so I'm disappointed.

After walking on the silent street for 20 minutes Husnah hails a cab for us, and she gave him the address to their house after we entered.

"What if they don't allow me inside their house?" I found myself asking Husnah when we reached the familiar colony i lived all my life.

"They will surely allow you inside" she assures but i can tell she's not sure herself.

I've never visited any of my uncles since i was adopted because i was scared they'll not let me in. But i know realized I've made a terrible mistake. They must've thought i abandoned them because i got rich. I should've tried even if i was scared, even if i know they don't love me much i should've tried.

She paid the driver after he put out my luggage in front of Husnah's house which was now renovated and even have a gate. I guess uncle Isah now have a car. I smiled at the thought and it gave me a little confidence.

"Let's go" Husnah drags my luggage inside the house and i followed her.

........

I took a bath and was about to finally eat something when uncles Isah entered, with a speed of lightening and hit the spoon i was about to take to my mouth and the food spilled while the spoon dropped to the ground.

I just dung my head down having no courage to face him, i listened as he throw tantrums.

"How dare you come back to my house after you've sold yourself?!"

I guess husnah's mother told him everything over the phone.

"Hurry up, pack your things and go back to where you came from now!! And don't even think about going to my siblings, I'll make sure they don't allow you in too." He drags me by my collar out of the room and threw me out.
I fell and bruised my palm and knees, and my luggage joins me on the floor shortly.

I winced in pain, i already saw this coming, i even expect worst to be honest. I thought he will beat the hell out of me before he throw me out but thankfully he didn't.

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I'm sad😖😂🤭

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Much love ❤️
Ummu Najma 🥰