My Lifeline

chapter 40

KALEEM

"You should have listened to me before making such a decision" Aneel complained.

I scoot from where I'm sitting on the floor and fold my legs, distressed. then rest my head against the couch Aneel was sitting on.
"Do you think listening to you will make me change my mind? unfortunately.. NO".

He lowers his voice "Do you really have to do this?"

I closed my eyes, then nodded "yes! For noor.. i have to do this"

"Do you love her that much?"

I quickly open my eyes and raise my head to look at him. "Was it that obvious?"

He nodded "yeah, everyone can tell you love Noor so much"

"Except except Noor i guess, her actions  doesn't show that she's aware of my feelings for her"

"But you should have told her about it instead, she wouldn't have ran away from you. But she's now scared of your offer" he stood up and sit down on the floor beside me before he continues.

"You know, i would have also ran away if I were her. Because oh my God!, who in his right state of mind will want to marry me just to transfer his inheritance to me? That too not some chicken change but Millions of dollars?"

"Ughh... You are right!" I groaned rubbing my face frustrated. "So right, it sounds just as crazy to me"

"You see?!"

"But that's my truth. Can't she be wise enough to understand it?"

"Were you wise enough to accept that Yasmeenah is dead and move on with your life?" Aneel retorted.

I stare at my palm remembering the night i let go of her hand and she fall off the cliff "am i being fair if i forget it so easily? Even though i promised to keep it in my mind for lifetime? Will it be fair if i fall in love again? You know i can't live with Noor forever don't you?" I smiled bitterly my eyes suddenly turned bloodshot red.

"I can't love her as much as I love Yasmeenah, and I'm sure she will eventually leave me if learns my truth and found out about what a failure i am. No girl will ever live with me like this i think" i finished trying hard to swallow the lump in my throat, and my tongue feels like sand paper.
I really wish i could, but I can't escape my misery.

He stood up and went to the fridge to get me a bottle of water which i really need
"You are not planning to divorce her soon after the marriage, are you?" He asks as he hand me the opened bottle.

"I don't know yet, I'm afraid i can't let her go easily after she became mine."

"You should try telling her about it then, maybe she will be different from the other girls you are talking about"

"But what about Hudah then?" I asked as her thought flashes my mind.

"Don't worry, we will think about what to do with her later. But you have to go after Noor now and bring her back home it's getting late, past 9pm already. why didn't you stop her from going anyway?"

"From the determination i saw in her eyes, I don't think she will stop even if I tried. And I'm scared mother might get angrier if i did that, she's still not talking to me"

He patted me on the shoulder " Goodluck to you my brother! You are sure in a stinky mess. Women are the most complex species on Earth, and you are stuck between two!...."

"Four!" I interjected "there's still Hudah and your wife-to-be, that adamant sister of mine Fatimah"

"You are in a really huge mess. But i would advice you to talk to Zahra first, she can help you with convincing Noor then you can go on convincing mother yourself"

"Do you think she will agree to it?" I contemplated.

"Yes, if you act sweet and considerate for once. You are her favorite brother after all?"

"Okay" i agreed

..........

I wipe off the tears from Zahra's eyes who's been crying over decades for what happened today. She's completely red and she resemble noor in a weird manner, Noor also gets completely red when she cries. I wonder if she's crying now? Or if she's safe wherever she is.

"Can't you guys pretend to be like a normal family and send me off peacefully for Allah's sake?" She sniffed as she spoke. "Must you create a chaos on my last days in the house i was born?"

I soften my voice to the lowest level possible and patted her head.
"I'm really sorry dear, I'm the cause of it and i deeply regret making you cry, i didn't mean to hurt you"

"Then why did you do it?" She asks sobbing again.

I pulled her into a hug patting her back as i spoke.

"I did it partially for you"

She quickly breaks the hug and look up at me, pointing at herself.
"For me?"

"Yes, because i get reminded of you everytime i see Noor. I used to imagine you being poor and homeless, and the biggest of all is not having us or our parents by your side. Sacrificing your organ to get accepted, trying hard to adjust to a new unfavorable sorrounding, then Living an uncomfortable life in someone's home you try to make yours.
I used to feel really terrible when i think that you might not get someone to help you through your struggles. Everyone might just abandon you like they did to her. Every girl is a sister, you are, Noor is. I love you all so much that i can do anything for both of you, anything!"

She burst out crying as soon as i finished my statement. "Why am i so selfish and ungrateful" she utters between sobs.
"While you trust me to be married your best friend, why can't I allow you to get married to my sister? I'm a horrible sister yah Kaleem, am i not?"

I chuckled "no you are not! You are my most favorite person in this world"

She hit me playfully "don't lie, i know Noor is. So hurry up and bring her home, we will help you convince mother"

She pushed me out of her couch so i stood up ready to leave.
"Thanks for understanding me Fatima"

"I love you" she grinned.

"I love you too" i said with a smile then head to the door and open it.

"YAA KALEEM NOOR IS BACK" is what i heard Habeeb yelling downstairs.
I froze. HOW??.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Much love ❤️
Ummu Najma 🥰