Scyde - Words

Chapter 23

3 months ago Bebe broke up with me. We had been together for 4 and a half years.

It was the end of summer. We just started getting ready to go back to school. I decided I should plan a little vacation for us so we could wrap up summer together.

I saved a ton of money so we could take a trip to one of the hot spring resorts before school started. It was a 3 day trip. She happily agreed. 

I planned it all out. I made sure we went to restaurants that had things I knew she liked, and I gave her my full attention.

When I dropped her off back at her house she waved goodbye and gave me a kind smile.

The moment I got home I received a text.

Bebe: Clyde. Read this when you're surrounded by people you trust.

And then there was a link to a document.

The first thing that went through my mind was "Please don't be a suicide note"

When I opened it, I was relieved to find out it wasn't. But reality hit fast.

"For a while now, I haven't felt the best when we are hanging out. There are things you do that hurt or just straight up annoy me. I wanted to message you about these concerns because our life together isn't enjoyable anymore."

It was a MLA formatted essay. Five paragraphs, explaining each and every one of my biggest flaws in detail.

The ending read as "In conclusion, I cannot continue to date you unless you change A LOT of things about yourself. Which I feel is impossible."

The essay was brutal. The words she used pierced into me like knives. This wasn't a letter with well wishes attached. She knew exactly how blunt she was being.

No, not blunt. The only word that can truly describe it was brutal.

Words and phrases like "you do this, and I despise people who do this" and "the way you ____ quite frankly, disgusts me."

I started questioning everything I had ever done for her or around her. Nothing about me held any worth. Every bit of confidence I had was shattered.

After reading through it multiple times and crying in my room, I see a time stamp at the top. A little bit of information telling me exactly when this was written. 

One day into the trip we just went on. One day into the three day trip.

We had made love on the second night, I did so much to make her happy and she just took it all, knowing she was going to send this to me afterward.

Quicker than lightning, she blocked me on everything. Even game platforms I had introduced her to. She blocked me on my Nintendo switch, even on fucking Duolingo.

That's how our relationship ended. I wasn't able to even look at her for some time. I've gotten over it bit by bit, but I'm still convinced I could never be a good enough boyfriend for anyone.

Especially not someone as amazing as Scott.