Scyde - Words

Chapter 39

"I can't belive I haven't told you guys of all people. My best friend and his boyfriend... Okay. So, I'm dating Scott Malkinson."

"What?"

"I. Am. Dating. Scott Malkinson."

"I heard you, dumbass. But seriously? You're dating him? I mean we knew you liked him but we didn't think you would admit your feelings, let alone act on them."

"Okay well I did. Now I need advice. It's our first date and I've never been on a date with a guy..."

"How is it any different from going on a date with a girl?"

"I don't know! I've never been on one! I can't compare them!"

"Just do what you usually do."

"Okay be more helpful. What do you do on dates?"

"I do what I usually do."

I roll my eyes. "Tweek?"

Tweek nods. "It's true. He does just kinda do what he usually does."

"Okay. Since Craig is no help, do you have any advice, Tweek?"

"Hmm... maybe... be nice to him?"

"Okay I was already planning on that."

"Uhm... maybe..."

"Ugh. Never mind..."

Craig perks up. "Oh! I know!"

"You do?"

"Yes. My advice: bring condoms."

I groan. "I already have those."

"Woah. I was joking. Are you planning to have sex with him on the first date?"

"I mean... yeah.... We sorta jacked each-other off over the weekend and he said we could sleep together after at least one date..."

"What?! You already- you're crazy."

"I know... I was going to wait longer but the fans wanted smut. We had to feed those little raptors."

"So you've already seen his junk?"

"Yeah."

Craig leans forward. "How big is he?"

Tweek slaps the back of Craig's head. "Craig!"

"What?! I'm just wondering! We're best friends, you always tell your best friend how big your lovers dick is."

"Oh really? So you've told him about mine?"

Craig looks away.

"CRAIG!"

Craig Grabs Tweeks shoulders and kisses him. "I'm sorry, babe. I'll make it up to you."

"... okay."

It's crazy how Craig can calm Tweek so easily.

He turns back to me. "So?"

I think for a moment. "Uhm... I only saw it once but compared to my hand it was like... hmm... I think the full thing is about... 8 or 9 inches?"

"EIGHT OR NINE INCHES?!"

Everyone in the library turns to look at Craig.

I cover my face and do my best to hold in the insane amount of laugher that is bubbling up.

"Oops. That was kinda loud."

"Pff-"

Once everyone stops looking at him he leans forward again. "Anyway. That's insane. Does he take pills or something?"

"I don't think so. It's thick too. It almost looks fake. I don't know how he carries that thing around. It was heavy when I held it."

Craig laughs. "Ah, man. I'm so glad you ended up being gay too. I hated having to discuss boobs with you."

"Not gay. Just uh... I dunno? What's the label for liking boys and girls?"

"Bi."

"I'm probably that one."

"Congrats on coming out."

"Thanks."