Forces Beyond The Grave

8.3

Jay looked up from his lap in surprise. "You're feeling something?" 

"I think so. To be honest I felt real fear when I saw the manor again, but talking to my mom again, finding out what happened to her, being able to...see her, through Kaila, I'm not sure, it felt strange. Like it'd triggered something. I knew when I was angry, but I was scared, I'm still scared now." 

"Lennox that's great!" Jay exclaimed, practically jumping onto the couch next to her. "Well, obviously it's not, all things considered, but you know what that means don't you?" 

"Sort of. Something's different in my head." 

"Yeah. That's good, that means that maybe the whole sociopathy thing isn't permanent after all." 

"Yeah but my mom said the only reason my feelings were taken away was to protect me, what happens if she finds out that I'm getting them back? You don't know what that kind of pain is like, I don't want to go through it again." 

"I know." 

"And if I am getting my feelings back I don't them taken away again. I'm nineteen in less than a month, that's a lot of time for her to whatever she thinks is necessary to please the spirits, or whatever she's doing. Either way, the only thing she seems to be worried about is Ekaterina's return, my feelings coming back could stop the whole process." 

"We'll figure it out okay? Maybe this is a good thing, maybe we can use it against them somehow." 

"How? Jay, if what happened to Ekaterina is true, I don't want to die again, and I don't want it to be for good this time. Maybe, just until after my birthday, I should try not to feel anything." 

"No, that's a terrible idea." 

He took her hand before she could stand up, shaking his head as she frowned and watched his behaviour. He seemed concerned, but overly concerned with the fact that if she could feel something, anything, then it was important that she let it happen. 

"If you're feeling things you can't shut them out." 

"Why not?" 

"Because you...that's not- you need to be able to feel Lennox. You have to." 

All of a sudden, he couldn't meet her eyes. He seemed flustered and struggling to find his words. Before she could respond, her mother's words came to mind. 

'You were already falling for Jay.' 

She looked him up and down, feeling a slight heat rush to her face as he kept his eyes on their hands. A certain hesitance in her voice, she began to speak. 

"Why is it so important for me to feel again Jay?"