Gold Rush » Harry Styles

026

Harry

"You're arguing with me for no reason, Erin," I said. "Or not a valid one at least."

"You're not having sex with me!" Erin said with an annoyed tone. She was literally mad at me for not wanting to have sex with her.

"I can't believe you. That's because I don't.. feel like it." I argued. I didn't want to say I didn't want to, even though that was the truth.

"Why, Harry? Why?" She asked me, her arms crossed. "We haven't had sex in such a long time, why don't you want to?"

"Because I just don't feel like it, Erin. Can't you respect that?"

"Do you not love me or something?" She gave me a look.

"So you think that if I don't have sex with you, it automatically means I don't love you? I just don't want to have sex right now, Erin. Quit forcing me to."

"You didn't answer my question." She mumbled. "So you think I'm forcing you to? Why can't you show some sort of affection towards me?"

"Like what? What do you want me to do?" I groaned. "I don't force you every night to have sex with me."

Erin was upset. "Forgive me for trying to spend some time with my husband."

"There are other ways we can 'spend time', Erin."

"You're right, I don't know what's happening to me." Her volume changed and now her voice was soft all of a sudden. "I've been so moody lately. I can't help it."

"Well, don't worry. I'm glad you're okay now." I said, rubbing her back, ''I get it.''

"Harry, look.. we're a married couple now," Her voice was soft and gentle. "And we've talked about this briefly but not in detail. What I'm trying to say is.. do you think we should have a baby?"

"W-What?"

"I don't know, I mean.. we're married now. I've always wanted to have kids with you. Maybe this is our chance. Maybe we can raise children together. You could have another baby, and I could be a parent all over again." she explained, ''There's no one else I'd rather do it with.''

"Erin, it's a little soon, don't you think? I mean, having another child is something I definitely want but---"

"Then what's stopping us? We could have a baby, Harry." She whispered, ''Why don't we?''

"Not now, Erin. Maybe in a while. I don't think we should have a baby right now." I said, ''I just think it's too soon.''

"Why not? Don't you want to have kids with me?" She asked quietly, her tone changing, ''We've talked about this before and waiting until we're married. Doesn't now seem like the right time? You're still raising kids. My job as raising Grace is pretty much done. I want to do it all over again. With you.''

"No, no, that's not it," I said softly. "It's just that, I don't know if we can handle that at this point in our lives."

"I just want to be able to take care of another baby again," she said. "With you. There's no one else in the world I'd rather do it with."

"I'm sorry, Erin. Not now." I took a deep breath. "Maybe in a few months. I'm sorry. I'm just not ready for that kind of change yet."

She looked down sadly. I furrowed my eyebrows and added, "You're not pregnant, are you?"

"What?"

"I don't know. I feel like you're telling me all of this because you have news.''

"Harry, I'm not pregnant," Erin confirmed. "At first, I thought I was if I'm being completely honest, but I'm not."