Of Knights and Aliens

Chapter 12

** So much dialogue from the show **

"I'm gay."

Alex can feel Kara's body freeze up beneath her. She lifts up her head so it's no longer on her sister's shoulder and looks up at Kara. Alex notes with relief that she looks more surprised than anything else.

"So you're..." Kara trails off.

Alex takes a few seconds longer than usual to respond and uses that time to try to calm herself.

"Yeah," she says breathily.

Kara turns to look at her, a confused expression on her face. "So what brought this on? Why tell me now?"

Alex didn't expect this question, not before others like 'how did you know?' or 'are you sure?' or 'wait but you've dated boys' or something like that.

"I kind of like someone." She answers and watches as Kara looks at the wall behind her instead of at her. She nods in response but says nothing. "Are you not okay with this?"

That makes Kara's eyes widen and she finally looks at Alex, who's starting to lose the fight against her anxiety and panic.

"What? No!" Kara cries out. "I'm so okay with it!"

"Are you sure?" Alex challenges, mentally trying to beat away her emotions with a stick. It's not working well, if the tears that are forming in her eyes are any indication. "Because something's wrong."

"No there isn't!" Kara retorts but deflates when she sees Alex's glistening eyes. "How can you tell?"

Alex taps the space between her eyebrows. "Crinkle."

"Crinkle," Kara groans. "It's not that you're Alex." She reassures her, raising an arm like they've done so often. Alex hesitates for the first time in a while. "Come here," Kara asks. "Please."

"Fine," she says softly.

Alex relents and scoots closer to her sister, cuddling up against her side. Kara wraps an arm around her shoulder and kisses her forehead. Alex rests her head back on her shoulder.

"I just... I realized all the time we spent together talking about everything, growing up together... It's always been about me." Kara's tone gets even softer. "Me, my secret, Krypton, the person I liked that week." She smiles sadly. "There's never been room for you."

"Kara..." Alex says, trying to think of something to say.

Kara shakes her head. "Please let me say this Alex." She waits for Alex to nod. "I'm so sorry that I didn't create a space for us to talk about you, to talk about stuff like this. This is such a big thing and knowing you, you just went through it alone and didn't talk to anyone. And I'm so sorry you had to go through that."

"Kara." Alex murmurs, not as an interruption but both as a way of forgiveness and support.

She runs her hand through Kara's hair and listens to her as she continues talking.

"And... I know it's not the same at all, but." Kara hesitates for a moment. She continues talking slower than normal at first like she's unsure about how to word it. "I do know what it's like to keep a secret, to keep a part of yourself hidden. And I know how lonely that can be."

Kara's words feel like a blow directly to her heart and Alex chokes on her emotions. Her questioning of her sexuality had not been easy, she had been absolutely horrible to herself in hindsight. It was a low in her life where she tried to convince herself she was straight. Which didn't work. Obviously.

She lets out a shuddering breath and pulls away so she can look her sister in the eye. "I can't do this without you."

Kara wraps both arms around her. "You don't have to. I'm here, I'll always be here."