Their Next Chapter

Chapter 6

Meryl was driving back to the Mason's Island house thinking it was ironic that she was actually done early and she wasn't speaking to her husband. She didn't know what happened with him; but she was deeply hurt. Him being jealous of her costars was nothing new; but this was nothing like they had experienced. He had never said such awful and hurtful things to her. She thought that by now this wouldn't be an issue; but it obviously was. She knew her husband didn't say anything he didn't mean; so her heart broke that he really thought that about her. She meant what she told Larry, she had never been broken like Don had broken her with his words. She wondered what in the hell was going on with him. There had to be more than she knew. She sighed when she pulled up to the house and she saw his car there. The last thing she wanted was another fight but she was afraid that was in her future. As she got out of the car, lights from the backyard caught her eye. She grabbed her purse and walked through the house. She was ready to shut him down and tell him to leave until she walked into the backyard and saw  the backyard filled with white lights and candles. She also saw her husband standing by the edge of the cliff waiting for her just like he had almost 33 years ago to the day on their wedding day. She had to admit he was certainly pulling out all the stops; but that didn't heal her broken heart. He had a long way to go. She walked closer to him and finally spoke. "What are you doing here? I thought I told you I didn't want to see you."

"You did." Don said walking closer to her. "I needed to make this right."

That puppy dog look in his eyes softened Meryl a little more; but she was still mad and hurt. "You basically said our 33 year marriage, a relationship that has SAVED me over and over these past 33 years, was a sham. That I only used it for practice to win awards. It's going to take a hell of a lot more than candles, lights and you standing in our wedding spot to make it right. You broke me, Don."

"I know." Don choked. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it."

Meryl shook her head as she caught sight of the picnic dinner he laid out for them. "You NEVER say anything you don't mean, Don; you obviously think I cheat on you and I'm this whore. How and why you think that I have no idea. I have given myself COMPLETELY to you and our family for 33 years. You know I don't give a shit about the awards or even the crazy amount of money. So, HOW could you think that Don?"

"Will you come sit down? Please?" Don asked pointing to the blanket as he saw the skeptical look on her face. "I won't try anything, I promise. I realized some things today that you need to know; and I think we should both sit down."

Meryl nodded as she sat down on the blanket, refusing the hand he gave her. "Okay."

"I did NOT mean those things I said, not at all. I immediately regretted them as soon as those words left my mouth but then it was like I snapped and they kept coming." Don said as she nodded. "Roy warned me I didn't want to see that but I thought I was past the jealous feelings; I guess I wasn't. I saw him kissing you. I saw you taking his glasses off him like you do me when we begin to make love. I saw you let your thigh drop to the side like you do when you want me to go deeper. I saw him grab your naked thigh and writhe on top of you. I heard and saw you fake an orgasm and it looked and sounded like when we made love."

Meryl took a deep breath. "Every moan, every kiss, every closing of the eyes, every move was completely choreographed. You should know this, Don. We didn't even fight this badly over that one scene with Alec Baldwin in It's Complicated." Meryl then held up her hand. "Which I know what you think about him. Why now?"

"I started wondering if I still please you." Don said as he saw her eyes soften. "This last year I got a glimpse of not being able to make love to you and it scared me. I'm getting older, M. I'm losing my hair. I have bags under my eyes. My skin is sagging. While you are so god damn hot and sexy. My life has been turned upside down this past year. I learned the man who I thought was my father, the man who beat me and tormented me, the man who led my wife's rapist to her, wasn't my father. We didn't have to go through all that hell if it wasn't for them. I lost my identity as a Gummer. But, you didn't let me lose who I am as a husband and father. I saw him on top of you and saw what it would be like if you were with another man and I lost it. I felt like I lost my center, like I lost you, and that would kill me; it did kill me in that instant. You are my strength. You are my light. So when I saw that all my insecurities popped up and I said those things. Now, I'm not throwing this in your face, so please don't think that, but maybe you'll understand it this way. When we lost William Walker you said you pushed me away as a way of trying to protect yourself from being hurt. Well, I think me saying those things was a way of me protecting myself. Instead, I hurt the person I love the most in this world, the person I promised to never hurt, in the worst possible way. I know it may not feel like it, but I love you so damn much. It breaks my hurt that I let my insecurities get to you and that I have hurt you in this way. I know what our marriage means to you, believe me, I do. I also know how scared you've been, too often, this year that you were going to lose me. I also KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that you have NEVER cheated me and you NEVER will. I am so sorry, Meryl, so incredibly sorry. I can't let my insecurities cause me to lose the absolute BEST person that has EVER, and will EVER, come into my life."