River.

Chapter 139: The Only Way

Sehrem's P.O.V.

I had to find out what was wrong with Apollo.

Cassidy was still fairly torn about what had happened but I promised her that everything he said was for a reason.

I just had to figure out what that reason was.

It was nearly 3 am and everyone was sleeping with the exception of me.

I sat in the living-room and waited for Apollo to get back, we needed to talk.

At first Raes insisted that he be the one to talk to him but I felt though I could get more out of him.

Fortunately I didn't have to wait much longer as Apollo walked in a bit past 3:30.

"Can we talk?" I asked as he made his way towards the stairs.

"About?"

"What happened tonight."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"She's heartbroken."

"Good."

I got up and jogged towards him before he got to the stairs.

I grabbed his arm, preventing him from going any further.

"Let me go Sehrem." He said through clenched teeth.

"Not until we talk."

Seeing as though I wasn't going to give in to his threat, he followed me onto the balcony.

I leaned against the railing as he slowly paced back and forth along the balcony.

"What's going on brother?"

"Nothing."

"You can't lie to me."

"And you can't make me tell the truth." He shot back.

"You're right, but I still know when you're not being honest."

"I said nothing's wrong Sehrem."

"Can you at least tell me why you said those horrible things to Cassidy?"

"Why does it matter to you?"

"Because you were lying."

"Why do my lies concern you?"

"They don't usually. But that particular lie concerned me very much because you hurt the person you care about more than anything."

"So?"

"So I know that you'd never hurt Cassidy unless you felt as if you had to."

"I did it because I'm a douchebag if you haven't noticed."

"No, I mean yes you are in fact a douchebag, but that's not why you did it. You did it because you're afraid."

He stopped pacing and leaned against the railing, glaring over it.

"I did it because she needs to get over me. She needs to hate me. She needs think I don't love her. That's the only way she'll forget about me."

"Why does she need to forget about you?"

He looked at me, then turned his attention away as he clasped his hands together and leaned over the railing but didn't answer.

"What are you afraid of?"

He closed his eyes and lowered his head as a tear fell down his face.

I stepped closer....

"Apollo... Why does Cassidy need to forget about you?"

"Because she's gonna die if she doesn't." He said, his voice breaking as he finally broke down, tears falling one after another. "She's gonna die because of me. And I can't- I won't do that to my kids."

"Did you-"

"Yes Sehrem I saw it. Her love for me is gonna cost her her life."

Seeing him breaking down like that was something I'd never seen before.

"So that's why you did it..."

"I had to. And it took everything within me to say it. It hurt me soooo much to tell her that I don't love her. It broke my heart telling her that I don't want her anymore and that our relationship was a mistake because its not true. Our relationship was the best thing to ever happen to me. I felt like a monster after saying it and a part of me just wished she would've fucking drove a knife through my heart at that very moment. But I had to it. I promised myself that I'd keep her safe no matter what."

"Hurting her isn't the only way Apollo."

"I have to make her move on. She has to stop loving me. And if hurting her is gonna keep her away from me... keep her from loving me... keep her alive... Then that's what i have to do. Trust me I don't want to but I'd rather have a hurt Cassidy than a dead Cassidy. And I know it sounds crazy because she and I didn't necessarily have the perfect relationship and we both kept fucking up, but she's my soulmate. I know she is. I know that there's nothing that I can do to make her absolutely hate me just like there's nothing she could ever do to make me hate her but- I've gotta try. I have to."

"You say you vowed to keep her safe... You don't have to be away from her to do so. In fact she'd be safer if she was with you. You're safer when she's with you because her love for you makes you stronger. You're very capable of protecting her from anyone Apollo."

"Sehrem you don't understand..."

"Understand what?"

"It was me.... I was the one that killed her. Her love for me caused her to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I can't protect her from myself. I can't even protect myself from myself. Her dying is one thing. But her dying because of me is something I refuse to let happen. I can't let it happen. I wont let it happen. If it did.... I'm afraid to even think of what I might do."

"How far are you willing to go to make her forget about you?"

"I wouldn't hesitate to pull a gun on myself if I needed to...."

And with that he walked towards the door, opening it before saying one last thing....

"Stay out of her head Sehrem. I'm doing this because I love her."