River.

Chapter 178: Words of Wisdom

Cassidy's P.O.V.

After we buried him, which was just as hard to sit through as the funeral, I went over to Lindsay's and Max's house as Mathias, Blue, Cesar, and Stone went to look for Max.

Lindsay had just left to go upstairs after Harley ran up, crying because she was afraid that something had happened to her dad.

I sat on the back porch, pondering how crazy today had been when Sehrem came out and sat next to me.

"How are you holding up?" He asked.

"Well, I just buried my husband, two of my kids ran off, and Max went missing after threatening to kill himself.... How do you think I'm holding up?"

"You seem to have been pretty strong throughout it all though."

"Only because I have to."

"No you don't. Holding it in and letting all of it build up is only going to hurt even more."

"Thanks for trying to help Sehrem but I'm really not in the mood for any words of wisdom at the moment."

"I'm not speaking from wisdom. I'm saying this because I care about you and I hate seeing you put yourself through so much pain in an attempt to spare the feelings of others. You're just like River."

"Have you ever been in love?" I asked randomly.

He thought about it for a moment then his expression changed completely.

"I can't say that I have."

"You've never been in love? Not even once?"

"I don't let myself fall in love."

"Why not?"

"Because of days like this. I don't want to know what its like to say goodbye to someone forever that you have an unparalleled amount of love for."

"Ever been in a relationship?"

"Many."

"Have you almost fallen in love before?"

"Once."

"How did you stop?"

"I distanced myself away from her. Stopped talking to her almost completely. Eventually the feelings went away."

"But don't you wanna know what it feels like? To be in love?"

"Not if it ends in having to say goodbye. Which it always does."

"So you're one of those 'love is for suckers' kind of guys?"

"Not at all. I believe that love is a beautiful thing that's only meant for those strong enough to handle the inevitable tragic aspect of it. I don't have the strength to deal with the consequences of falling in love. Its just not for me."

"I kind of used to have that mindset. But then I met River." I said with a smile. "And I couldn't stop myself from falling in love. Trust me, I tried."

"You two were meant for eachother. We all knew that."

"It took me forever to figure that out. I was in so much denial for the longest time. Now I wish I wouldn't have been so hesitant to fall in love."

He slightly smiled and let out a chuckle.

"I know it sounds cheesy." I laughed. "But you'll understand one day Sehrem. You can't fight love forever. One day you'll fall in love and I'll be there to say 'I told you so'."

"Not happening." He laughed.

We sat for a while, in silence, not saying a word and just thinking about the intensity of the past two weeks. I knew it was hard for him too he just felt like he had to be strong for everyone else, which was ironic because he was literally just lecturing me about how holding it all in was bad.

"This will all work itself out." He said, breaking the silence.

"Huh?" I asked, a bit lost from his statement.

"You feel like this is the end of your happiness. Its not. You'll push on. All of you will. All of us. I know it might be hard to believe but we'll be fine. One day this will all just be a memory. I promise."

That right there was all I needed to hear.

I felt a small sense of relief as I hugged him tightly.

"Thank you so much. I guess I really did need your words of wisdom."

"Of course you did." He chuckled.