River.

Chapter 155: Like Father Like Son

River's P.O.V.

We walked into my house and stopped at the sound of chaos.

We heard what sounded like Jordan freaking out and quickly made our way to the living-room where we came upon him lying on the floor bawling his eyes out as Sonny and AJ sat next to him.

"What's going on?" Asked Max as Cassidy walked up to us, her eyes full of tears as well.

"Looks like we're making another trip to Colorado." She said, her voice cracking.

I looked at her and saw she was on the verge of breaking.

She stared up at me, biting her lip as it trembled, trying so hard to hold herself together.

I pulled her towards me and wrapped my arms around her, holding her as she finally broke.

"Jordan's older sister called, Floyd beat Liliana..."

"Is she okay?"

She raised her head up long enough for me to find the answer in her heartbroken eyes.
.......................................

I went out to the balcony and sat in the chair next to him.

It wasn't long before he broke the silence between us.

"She called me last night but I was too busy partying to answer... Then she called this morning but I was hungover and didn't fell like talking..."

"Don't beat yourself up over that."

"But if I just would've taken the fucking time to answer... All I had to do was answer..."

"Even if you had answered there's no telling if this wouldn't have happened."

"I just-..... How do you do it?"

"How do I do what?"

"Deal with losing someone that close to you?"

"I've lost my brother, my ex wife, my daughter, Reese, my mom, and people I became close to during the darkest point of my life back in Blairwood. I deal with it by bottling up all of the anger and hatred I have within me. And doing that has affected me in the worst way possible. You can't deal with something like this which took me forever to realize because if you do you'll turn into the kind of person I am. You just have to accept that it happened. You can't blame yourself and you can't constantly ask 'what if'.... I learned that the hard way."

"Yea but I'm not as strong as you. I break a lot easier than you do."

"Jordan you're way stronger than I am. You can withstand a lot more than I can emotionally. You've changed so much over the years I've known you. When I first met you I used to deliberately try to piss you off just because I wanted a fight and I knew you'd snap in no time. But now you're completely different. You actually think about the consequences before you jump to violence. And I honestly think of you as a younger brother now. Weakness isn't determined by who breaks the easiest. Its determined by who breaks the worst. Therefore you're stronger than I am. You break and you rebound after a bit of rationality hits. I break and I go one a rampage and hurt people then I try to call it quits on myself because I dont see rationality and I'm completely worn out emotionally. Its gotten to the point where I'm not sure just how much more I can take. Yet I somehow manage to always rebound and if I can do it then so can you. All you have to do is remember that you did your job as Liliana's big brother. You loved her. You looked after her. Protected her. You did what you were supposed to do and that's all that matters. Everything else was out of your hands."

I saw Cassidy standing in the doorway with a subtle smile.

"Why dont you go check on your daughter." I said to Jordan. "You gave her a scare back there."